Dear old diary...

WELCOME TO MY DIARY
no ripping or i'll tear your butt.
enjoy your stay:D
YONG SHENG

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Decided to post some photos onto this new blogskin. yay. couldn stand the old one long enough. too kiddy for me le. lol. not comprehensive enough the pics, definitely. i was juz glancing thru some of the old pics and thought these are the nicer ones that ll evoke wonderful memories of the past. :)

Written at 11:47 PM.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Close to half a year of 2009 has passed now. how fast this year went by. Think i has encountered even more these last 6 months than in the past. seen a lot, learnt plenty, matured even more. Since last post, it has been rather busy. Still trying to find time to recharge myself for the next lap of marathon.

So after rushing back n forth btw camp and for my granddad's wake, there was the proficiency test for my coy over the weekend. still adjusting to a different kind of operations from CTC/AIOC. then there's the challenge of the PC cum 2I/C role altogether on top of maintaining the level of standard for the men. A trying period i would say. phew. sometimes i wonder why am i so exhausted when i lie on the bed. At least the 2 days of off from mon gave me a little of a breather.

Of course, if i succumb to such pressure or tireness, then i m not fit enough to lead 30 over men, let alone the 100+ for an OC-to-be. Self motivation i shall find from within. Just wanna share this sentence from the ranger's creed which to me, is one of the more meaningful one.

" Never shall i fail my comrade. I shall always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally right, and will shoulder more than my share of the task, whatever it may be. 100% and then some. "

Till then, i shall find back my energy for the fun and laughters in life. =)

Written at 8:01 PM.

Monday, June 01, 2009

"Knowing someone passed away reinforces the notion of death."
Its scary yet inevitable. How it makes me realise even more the fragile nature of life. How, in a matter of months, a perfectly healthy person can 'degenerate' (literally) into an extremely weak and fragile body. Its heartbreaking. Its heartwrenching. Its quite unbearable sometimes.

And only at such times do we really treasure kinship. Ironically. Only at such times do we forget all the grudges we have towards each other. Laughable. Only when that person leaves us do we start to regret. Do we really want to be entrapped in this circle of stupidity, i would say?

Treasure life, i say, to everyone out there. It can end anytime. Live like there is no tomorrow. Bear no hatred, no grudges, no regrets, no nothing. For you would not want to leave with a heavy heart for things you have done, or not done.

I pray for the recovery of my granddad. It hurts to see him in a pathetically pitiful state. It hurts to see him in pain. It hurts to see him, now, a pale shadow of himself. For that, I pray.

Written at 2:35 PM.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Wkend was good. Class outing on sat with george, jq, sy, hs, el. watched night at the museum 2 at cathay. thought that it was as gd as the first, witty n funny. :) went minds cafe for board games aft that and played like 4 hrs for a bill amounting to hundred and twenty. lol. It was nevertheless well-worth time spent with classmates whom i ve not met for quite some time. Supper at geylang with odac guys aft that. shiok for the stomach, bad for the body. haha, but it was really good stuff, esp the mee sua. comparable to taiwan's. lan AGAIN aft that till 5. crazily crazy. immediately collapsed aft reaching home.

Today must be one of the most well-spent unplanned day. Went jalan besar to swim and began hearing cheers from the stadium next door at 2 plus. Decided to check it out and realised its the A div soccer finals. ahah. VJ vs MJ. cool. Hearing the cheers again made me feel like - back to school. met shu hua, some grand-juniors whom i recognised, and teachers there. Nolstagic - the scene brings me back to 3 fateful years ago when VJ clinched the title aft 3 late goals, defeating the same opponent 4-2. That was simply unforgettable. This time round, the Victorians did not disappoint, beating our opponents in both actions and voices. it feels good cheering the same old cheers, rooting for the same old school and feeling the same old spirit. simply awesome. =D Nil Sine Labore.

Ho Ho asked me this qn juz now: So have you moved on or do u still miss VJ? My ans: Both. =)

Tactics test tmr and two more weeks to end of course. till then!

Written at 11:55 PM.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

What a "sporty" weekend it was. it was months since i felt like totally shagged out. burning thighes and aching muscles. simply shiok. rekindled the kid in me, how i have always wanted to ride the bike, kick the ball, shout the words and play the games. The ever suffocating lifestyle in ocs has stuffed that out for long and i m quite glad i finding the passion back for sports.

Labour day was quite 'labourous' (lol). Celebrate MF's bdae followed by cycling around ecp. and to add to the record, its been like 3rd or 4th time that i had a tyre punctured while riding the bike. =) pretty much the style in which i work. gung-ho, juz whack and it doesn gives much security does it. haha. Went to jh's hse for some crazy antics. mass-dancing in the room! its been super long since i did that, prob y i forgotten like 80% of the moves. sadnessss.. still rmbed i tried to prac the moves at home when i was an ogl. haha. and of course, the music brings back wonderful memories of the school.

night cycling with the odac guys. all-tme low attendance for once. haha. anyway, we can hit a new route if it happens again. like punggol, woodlands, jurong east? visited jasm n hh and returned to mother home VJ aft that to cap off the route. imagine playing floorball at 4am in VJ hall. yes, we did that, and i think it was will be one of the most enjoyable moment for some time to come. tiring but fun, tremendously. and think again, what if u are the security guard seeing 6 half naked guys hitting the floorball sticks in the middle of the night and making hell lot of noise. LOL. insanity maybe. the lack of sleep is doing the trick. :) attempted to climb to PT rooftop but access was locked. if not prob more crazy things would have happened. haha. slpt (finally) for like 2 hrs at HOME, yea odac room. and to the horrors of juniors juniors. i.e the 25th batch entering, seeing 6 half naked (make it 5, minus monster who doesn need to sleep, lol) guys slping in the room.

Breakfast at macs before soccer. kena owned like free at the street soccer court. muscles juz don feel like moving. ha. felt slow and clumsy. and it wasnt 1pm that i got back home and slpt like a dog for the whole day, minus the time for dinner. Table tennis this afternoon with ts n adrian. more adrenalin and like adrian said, a more challenging game. felt more into shape and really finding back my love for table tennis. alot thx to the tv show which made the 3 of us started playing. haha. hopefully this can continue for some time to come.

Life will resume to normacy soon. plz let some interesting things happen in SAFTI this week. CTC's over soon! and AIOC's looming. outfield, here i come.

Written at 6:51 PM.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Shucks. Arsenal are out of the FA cup. Juz crossing my fingers that the same thing wouldn happen again for champions league, though that's a high possibility. :x

Everyone's getting busier by the day. at least for now. weekend's are getting less interesting each time. Aimless. listening to music in the dark like now feels peaceful. Allows me to draw strength from the lyrics and recapture the beautiful memories of the past.

说好的幸福呢-周杰伦

填词:方文山作曲:周杰伦

你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌假作没事了
时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

it's time to relax
and continue to imagine...

Written at 3:16 AM.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

first day of CTC. boring like crazy. haha. in bunk using the issued laptop. lots of organisational learning today. super dry stuff. the scene outside bunk is pretty nice facing the SDC lake. feeling quite relaxed now.. intended to run round campus juz now but laziness won the inner struggle. lol.

anw, juz wanted to add this quote to yesterday's post.

" Courage is grace under pressure "

Written at 10:20 PM.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

felt like writing about this topic that has been tickling me the whole day: Confidence. Wikipedia English defines as such: Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. For me, its just the notion of, "you can do it, just do it"

what triggered me was a couple of reasons. well, actly nowadays i m beginning to feel more and more out of sorts. esp when sometimes things repeatedly don't go ur way or didn result in a way u expected them to. and its esp so when u really thought that those things can be done with not much difficulty. it dampens self belief. and it makes u wonder if u were actly right to begin with so much faith in your own abilities to see things thru.

was it that my expectations were a notch higher than they shld really be? of course there is no physically gauge to such things. i wish there were. or is it because i thought of myself as too good for my own good? it feels like a defeat against ur inner self at times. and the feeling of such failure isnt really nice. its bitter actly.

it kills self confidence. i hate to think that i m losing it. but i think i m.
can things turn around soon plz?

Written at 10:06 PM.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The past 2 days have been pretty useful for me. basically i m like on this course called the "coaching for performance and development". It faciliates effective coaching for peers and subordinates. some framework and models they use i found pretty interesting. And i thought, maybe the blog will be a good platform for me to share on the lessons taught and allow myself to reaffirm the things learnt.

Coaching is in essence a fundamental responsibility carried by the chain of command to improve performance, learning and commitment of their subordinates while on the job. However, that being said, coaching can be done upwards, i.e coaching ur boss and it can be almost transparent, when the coachee doesn't even know he/she is being coached. So purpose of coaching is simply put, to "bring out the best in people". But that to be noted, coaches do not develop people, they equip people to develop themselves. Good coaching will assist subordinates (in general) to be aware and be responsible for their own performance and to help them realise that potential.

And this is done through severely models (which can be like found in many different coaching books or in google). what the course practices is the G.R.O.W which i thought was one of the better ones. But before we embark on the model, lets take a look at the 7 learning disabilities. These are basically the negative attitudes which hinders growth.

1. "I am my position" - This reflects that the person is in his comfort zone and refuses to change from status quo.
2. "The Enemy is out there" - Deflecting responsibilities, pointing fingers at everyone else for things that go the wrong way.
3. The illusion of taking charge - 'new broom, sweeps clean' anology, saying someone new in-charge implementing (many) new changes, sometimes for the sake of it. (without knowing the historic perspective of it)
4. The Fixation of Events - the inter-connection of events. how something bad can affect another.
5. The parable of the boiled frog - (if u have read one of my previous posts, i mentioned bout this story before) how unreactive one is to changes to the surroundings can result in him/her losing out.
6. The delusion of learning from experience - no. of years in service is not = to experience. The lessons learnt, recorded and not repeated are.
7. The myth of the management team - looks only --> no synergy within --> no substance

And the next thing to explore would be effective communication for better coaching. Communication is a very powerful tool in coaching, allowing ourselves to express what we want to see in our coachees and for them to react. Communication - sharing of ideas and feelings - depends on three components, words - 7%, tone of voice - 38%, body language - 55%. and body langauge depends on Eye contact, Facial expression, Gestures, Posture and Proximity/Space. ( i guess many of us have alrdy known these points mentioned) And a very effective way of communication would be to adopt the convergence-divergence method. That is, to "talk rubbish" and open up coachee before embarking on the topic. This builds rapport and ease coachee into the session.

And for communication to be Effective, there's a need for empathetic listening. This refers to paying attention to speaker's total communication (both verbal and non-verbal), identifying with the speaker, and essentially, listening with the heart. But ultimately what i feel is that we must be curious about what the speaker has to say before we can carry out empathetic listening. And on the reverse, for ur coachee to be emphthetically listening to you, u can develop empathetic response by asking him to repeat/rephrase content.

And thirdly, there's a need for facilitative questioning. Basically, it is a process of asking deep questions to further probe into the coachee and allow him to think deeper into the problems he's facing and how he can come up with solutions himself. It is also a tool for coachee to open up and provide relevant information and allow coaches to inquire more about the coachee. Facilitative Questions are basically non yes/no questions that invites exploration and as far as possible do not ask 'why' questions. eg."why are you late?" vs" are there any reasons that caused u to be late"

Ok, so now, fundamentally, what are we looking at. We are looking into developing awareness and responsiblity in whatever problems (if there is) the coachee is facing. Thats the basis. Then we look into the G.R.O.W model. okay, Grow is basically:

G - Goals
R - Reality
O - Options
W - What's next

T'm sure some of us have heard of, or even used this model before. Its actly ( i thought) quite a simple framework in which we can work upon to develop ourselves, not just coaching. We first establish what we want in life, what we want to achieve. Then we look into the realism of it. and constantly look back if needed, to see if it is realistically enough a goal for it to be achieved. Then, we will explore the options of achieveing the goals. we develop the action plans for them. after which, we execute them. :)

ok, but being a course, they must look professional, so there are like around 10? more other frameworks which like work hand-in-hand which each other. for example, to develop ur goal, there is the 'creative tension model' and to look into reality there is " ladder of inference" and "reality-GAP analysis". For options, there is the "hierachy" of choices and for what's next there is the "S.M.A.R.T goals". Super complicated. haha.. if put together that is. i think i also don't really know how to explain some of them.

then, they also mentioned IDAP which is the individual development action process which is like journalling, for coachee to pen down each coaching session for follow-up actions and the things mentioned during the session for learning purposes.

Phew, and i've not mentioned other concepts. but well, i guess the more impt and i thought relevant ones are those said above. The course was really quite informative though it really difficult not to doubt its use practically, esp in army's context. We did some role-playing and practises the various skills, such as facilitative questioning and watching more of our body language when talking.

Hopefully what i ve written made some sense. lolx. i think i m damn free to pen down all these. was i so interested in the course, or am i juz too bored? lolx. still one more day to go tomorrow though, mayb something more will come tmr.

Anw, i failed my FTT today! haha.. random

Written at 11:05 PM.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Congrats to willy, zene and the rest for finally being able to toss the cap aft 9 months of training. its never easy to go thru that. yea. it muz have felt the same as we did 3 months ago. unbelievable. anw, the parade was good. much better than dec's one i thought. haha. feels better watching it from a civilian's point of view. at leastnot sweating and not so anxious standing down there in the parade square. still could feel the same "sae" that the parade gave me when i first watched it as a cadet. how my hair stood and feeling the pride of an officer again was testament to the power of the officer's creed.

Yesterday made me think back of my ocs days and how i went thru the ups and downs of those 9 months. its a really special place there. and i always like to tell others how much i ve grown during that period. which is, i guess, so much very true for the others.

now tat commission parade is over, next would be to look forward to ord! haha. get ready the countdown timer on ur OA accnt. anw, i m like really into on-course mood now. a one week course starting from tmr, before a 3 day break followed by another 2 months of course. shiok. haha. but sometimes still feel a little sad that i ll be leaving my platoon with i ve been training with for the past 2 months. nevertheless, been looking forward to a different 2 months ahead!, abeit some really mad rush of studying and cutting/drawing of talc. haha

anw, am using my bro'snew laptop to type out this post. quite cool man. i ve never had a laptop in my life before but all well, it all too common nowadays to have one. juz that i don have the need as of now. if not i would have alrdy gotten one during the IT fair! haha.

life's still revolving round army. prob thats y less n less army guys are updating their blogs.. haha.. thats also becos i m so much more free and have nothing much to do!

bla bla.. now i need to find out how to get to that ulu camp tmr for my course. cya, prob very soon.

Written at 10:15 PM.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

total has been a home-ly day for me. well, practically stayed at home the whole day. brought granny for walk in the morning. it has somewhat becomes a ritual for me, bringing her to the temple every week, a good sunday's breakfast at the hawker centre and a stroll around bugis area, sometimes to the wet market to get the ingredients for everyday's meal. am increasingly feeling satisfied from this simple act, finding joy from granny's laughters.

Spent the afternoon working on EDS essay. instead of juz going for many scholarships without knowing if i m really interested in in (a mistake which i made last year), i decided to apply to the organisations which i felt most comfortable with. Have a gameplan (finally after more than a year of hesitation and indecisiveness) and may it not game over so soon. lol

anw, i bought a new camera at IT fair for 99! a nikon coolpix at a bargain. hopefully the pics taken wouldn turn out to be blurry or anything. its been quite some time since i spent on material goods (im serious, lol). prob getting a new bed for mum as well next week.

finished watching the channel 8 show at 4.30 just now. really made me think hard about what they said. its not easy to love someone. but its even harder to stop loving someone. and is it in the face of life and death only do we know who are the ones we cherish and treasure the most? loving someone is not about possessing him/her so will that love die off when that person is no longer around?..

jsut some food for thoughts. haha. anw, am currently reading the book: 7 habits of highly effective people, courtesy of eric ma. ya, am on course in becoming a highly effective person (lolx). although the thoughts of the author and the way he writes it is rather complex, there are actually some ideas in the book which actually are very true in reality. still halfway into reading, shall share more bout it soon! a good recommend for peeps who finds life super ineffective now, like in the army? hahaha

alright, dinner soon. till then, cya

Written at 7:00 PM.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Victorian's day yesterday. not bad an event la, though as usual, less than expected pple turning up. our batch was still ok i guess, quite a few familiar faces here and there. its feels gd to juz walk around the campus again juz like we used to do in the past. the concourse, the foyer, the area outside the staff room, the canteen, odac room, harmoc room, the hall, the treehouse, the LTs, the grand piano, the rock wall, the classrooms, the scrabble board, the rooftop, the performance theatre, the everything. Most things still remained the same, the canteen vendors and their usual big smiles on their faces, the super messy yet cosy odac room as it is, the same old (not literally) teachers n friends now. though, there are changes too, like the mega huge mirror before entering the hall, the artistically painted walls of the toilets, the enlarged staff room and so-on. The memories still very much intact nevertheless :) sometimes the feeling juz can't be described. yes, the word is indescribable. I miss VJC DAYS!!

went for movie wif jq n gang aft that, had a long day chatting and talking, catching up on the days.. it seems like we haven't really changed since day 1 of sch. hah.. i m serious, perhaps like wad sy said mayb we are too used to each other over the years le. but who cares, it juz feels good to be able to be in company of this bunch of great friends. :)

took grandma for walk as usual this morning, and think she's slowly improving in her physical movements. hopefully, the patience is slowly paying off. having driving lessons ltr on again.. and mayb dinner at granny's hse. anw, the wk at work was really roller coaster, at a moment, everything seems to be so chaotic, then the next, everything juz seems to fall into place, proper. haha. and comtemplating an extension to ORD. shld i?

Written at 11:48 AM.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Felt like i ve slept for 24 hrs loong. Woke up at like 5am this morning.. lolx. thats the time i have woken up to in the past 4 nights. screwed up human clock in me. Back from another field camp. shacked. but still managed to catch vlykrie with saw n gang aft family day yesterday.

felt more n more satisfying as a platoon commander now, being the big daddy of the men under you and developing them into better soldiers through whateva methods there is, scolding, whacking, punishing, preaching, explaining, rationalising, coaxing.. etc. taking more ownership of the guys now and family day was pretty evident of that. talking to some of their parents were refreshing, made me felt like a parent, somehow. ironically, juz one year back, it was my parents who were talking to my teachers. lol. well, did a house visit to one of my long term injury guys back on fri and met wif the usual protective parents again. its tricky to talk to them, explaining how their son's injury during training was purely accidental and assure them that it wont aggravate till it becomes a lifelong injury. thats what many nsf suffered aft 2 yrs of service i guess. which makes parents nowadays more n more protective of their kids. anw, what some of the dads said yesterday made absolute sense. That actually now the kindda NS we are going thru is nothing. compared to their days back then. n how the kids still gets injured and sick so easily is yet another irony.

enough bout work. but hey, thats like juz my life, for now. lol. thats pretty the same for the rest i guess. pple lamenting bout this n that, blah blah. but still got some things to look forward to in the next wk or so. Driving lesson for the first time tmr! can't wait. and A's results coming out on 6th mar. good luck to those recieving fabulous results on that faithful day! it was one year ago when i recieved mine. doesn feel tat long ago though. block leave next week from 6th to 12 march. mandatory for all in the coy. thought of clearing all leave juz before ord but juz as well, can take a break now that ait phase is coming to a closure.

shall bring my grandma out for the routine sunday morning walk later. the sun is rising :)

Written at 6:10 AM.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The weekend is here again.. Something diff this time round though. Just came back from platoon field camp over the week. suprisingly tired despite not really doin much. Got out of camp for my btt striaght aft that on fri. thankfully i passed if not have to waste more time waiting for the next one. and finally can start to learn driving soon. hopefully can get my license before my pdl expires. haha..

Sat was well spent. had lots of fun with the harmoc peeps over at leisure park. first time there aft renovations and i felt like a kid all over again! or mayb i still am.. haha.. ice-skating for the first time, was a marvellous experience. its seems much easier than roller skating! haha.. at least when you fall (which i did like over 20 times?? ) it doesn hurt that much.. went over to the arcade aft
that for some self-amusing games. lolx. followed by some tarrot cards prediction from zz. yea, he says i will be a millionaire next time with kids who aren't mine. lolx.. took bus over to thaipan for dinner. nolstalgia feeling of taking bus 16 to the area that is so so familiar. been quite some time since i went back. wonder when will be the next. Anw, really had a wonderful day spent yesterday.. thanks for all the fun and memories =)

This year seems to be passing even faster than the last. changes shall be coming soon for the next few weeks. and i think its time for me to change my skin aft so so long? yea, prob to a happier one. this one really too emo. haha.. sry peeps for not updating the blog sometimes. it shows that i m really busy with work (lolx, excuses excuses) nah, juz lazy sometimes cos i update my own personal diary as well :)

looking forward to the days ahead, the road is bright!

shall end off with a qoute i find very interesting. For those who are disappointed with setbacks, upset with things not going your way or for anyone who is experiencing difficulties in life, just this for you all:

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want"

So in fact, you are gaining something despite difficult times. experiences are part of our growing up, so stay cheerful always :D

Written at 1:05 PM.