yongyboi

2012-01-18T23:11:00.000-08:00

Because of this, my heart :)

2011-12-23T06:34:00.000-08:00

再一次相遇我会紧紧抱着你
but I know i can't. As much as i would want to.

Reading through past words, reliving past memories, going back past times and evoking past emotions.
Time flies but it does not take away feelings towards someone, some things and certain memories.
And I had the chance to live like someone else a few years back, understanding and imagining how it felt like, lived like and be like.
Words, damn, they hurt, badly.
They will continue to sting like be like those pens that live permanent holes in the heart.
For real, the heart aches. And they perhaps will continue to, somehow.

But given the chance, I definitely would wish to let those parallel lines cross again. and again. and again.
And this time round, I will grab onto the chance. and never allow them to be apart. ever.

2011-11-30T08:49:00.000-08:00

Today, I re-read some of the previous blog posts. Mainly because of u. Its surprising to myself how much I have changed over the years. 6 years is long. Really long. But I guess, some things never changed. Back to square 1. And today, I cried.

2011-11-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

又回到最初的起点
记忆中你青涩的脸
我们终於来到了这一天
桌垫下的老照片
无数回忆连结
今天男孩要赴女孩最后的约

又回到最初的起点
呆呆地站在镜子前
笨拙系上红色领带的结
将头发梳成大人模样
穿上一身帅气西装
等会儿见你一定比想像美

好想再回到那些年的时光
回到教室座位前后故意讨你温柔的骂
黑板上排列组合你舍得解开吗
谁与谁坐他又爱着她

那些年错过的大雨
那些年错过的爱情
好想拥抱你拥抱错过的勇气
曾经想征服全世界
到最后回首才发现
这世界滴滴点点全部都是你

那些年错过的大雨
那些年错过的爱情
好想告诉你告诉你我没有忘记
那天晚上满天星星
平行时空下的约定
再一次相遇我会紧紧抱着你
紧紧抱着你

Strange Feeling

2011-11-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

Fate is such a magical and mysterious tool. No matter how far, how long, how distant, how obscure, how uncertain; it has the strange ability to bring people together. That moment, just, is a testament to it. The familiarity from the eyes; the seemingly stagnant face from the past; the same old feeling evoked; as that person walked past with a short glance, somehow sensing and feeling the exact emotions going through. Nah, it's may be just pure guessing. Let alone, giving much thoughts to what just happened. But somewhat, the feeling lingers on, as I took a good 10 minutes walk back to my room. Somehow, somewhat, there is a belief that it was more than just a guess, a conjecture, and it's pretty certain that, years down the road, through the notion of forever-absence, it is that person again.

Sometimes, it takes more than a goodbye to not meet someone again in your life, for he/she may appear somehow, somewhere, some time in the future, yet again in your life. Fate has that uncanny ability to do so :)

2011-03-30T12:45:00.000-07:00

TIME FLIES!! It's been ages since i'm here, and probably even for many others. Everyone's caught up in their own work esp uni people, it somehow feels suffocating esp. when the finals are nearing! Which is why I'm here for a little breather. HAHA. Had been slacking around for the past night and today. Was at the rooftop chilling with friends, juz appreciating the night breeze and scene from the top of the building, with the little ukelele playing at the background, talking bout traveling and just life experiences tat we've been thru. Really enjoyed the company and just those kind of times spend. It's not easy to find this kind of lifestyle, on a regular basis that it! all the more when we are in uni when the fast-paced life will never fail to bring u back to the books and panic whenever a test is nearing, coping up in the room or lib to mug ur life away. Just like one of my friend asked, if I see any meaning to studying. Of course i do, being somehow passionate for the things i am studying now, but perhaps not in the manner and pace in which it is carried out. With exams and mugging for exams, studying has definitely not been as fun as it could have been. But still, there is, i feel, still a point in doing so, for a better future perhaps, for interest or even just so that you can complete the routine route done by many other singaporeans. But what got me thinking was what i can perhaps do with my time if i m not studying in uni. My friend was sharing bout his work n travel experience in NZ and how simple life then can be, and how much fun and enjoyment he got from that experience. Of course, everyone's experience will be different but i definitely want to write my own adventure chapter, be it alone or with friends. But again, binding conditions hold, uni and family back home. It's never easy to find a balance.

That said, I'm going India for my first YEP! woohoo! getting pumped up for some out-of-comfort-zone volunteering experience and ignite that passion of passing on of knowledge to the kids over in Bangalore. 3 months of holidays will definitely go past in a flash and I so wanna make full use of it. Want to do so many things: diving, YEP, Supercamp, Orientation camps, backpacking! among so many others. If only i can choose not to take exams in 3 weeks time. Haha

Damn, i just got reminded that exams are coming. Surely, but really slowly, i'm getting into the mood for finals. (though i m still lagging behind in some mods, haha) But I feel relieved that I got to express the thoughts kept up in my head in this rubbish post. Don't think the language is fluent and the flow is coherent, but it doesn matter, because i have expressed what i thought n felt =)

Down to an english essay now. Now, THAT matters. LOL

2011-01-26T09:06:00.001-08:00

Missing out on music. Good music. For so long.

2011-01-18T00:47:00.000-08:00

Was just listening to stories shared by one of my friends who came back from europe recently. Pretty exciting encounters, exactly making me really excited bout the prospects of leaving to Europe and spending a good half a year there for exchange. Just that I would have to wait another 1 and a half year for that day to come. Haha.

So many stories of people around traveling and enjoying their time. To experience experiences of a lifetime, to travel to places that might just be gone the next time you visit and to talk to people that you chance upon out of billion others out there. Just to quote one of my friend, we have got to travel, and see whats really out there, and "try something illegal in somewhere that's legal".

Hopefully, when i do have the money, I would wanna suit up my backpack and travel for as long as I can around the globe. To step on the soil of every single country out there and talk to people whom we ll never, out of chance, talk to again in our lifetime.

2011-01-15T09:13:00.000-08:00

Struggling. Barely. First week of school skewed towards the bad end of things. ARgh. Trying to find the source of joy despite failing to balance things time and again. So we say, learning from our mistakes. But sometimes, dejavu just hits you before u even realise it. Just wanna concentrate on hitting the floorball for now.

Looking at photos of friends overseas makes me want to escape from this tiny world that i'm in. I wanna see snow. I wanna see the world out there. I wanna escape.

Being lonely is not the scary part. Feeling lonely is.

2011-01-04T03:03:00.000-08:00

Cool, this is my 200th post in this blog and its the first post of the new year =) Nice way to start the year eh. Anyway, was just pondering over 2 questions just now driving back home.

1. What makes a fulfilling life? Or rather, what does it means, or feel, to have a fulfilling life?
2. When friends appreciate and acknowledge each other's strengths and weaknesses, they will have better connection and lesser barriers in communication. True?

Haha. Just wondering and thinking. =)

2010-12-29T15:50:00.000-08:00

Cool, was unpacking my stuff and organizing them when I found my new year resolution for 2010 in my luggage bag to be brought back to hall. Hmm, let's see, I have perhaps attained a 30% completion rate of those resolutions I set out to achieve. Haha. Maybe I shld be glad tat at least I have achieved something, be it as simple as meeting up w friends at least once a month or having dinner back at home thrice a week. But tat set me thinking again, on how shld I carve out my resolutions for the coming year such tat I can tell myself this this time next year tat I ve no regrets over the course of 365 days. Mayb having it published up or pasted on the wall helps, as compared to leaving in it the diary which was alrdy defunct by June when a new diary comes along. Come to think of it, 2010 didn't really go as well as I wanted it to. Perhaps it's not as fruitful as compared to previous years or with the experiences of other people. But still, it juz didn't feel as gd as it could have been.

Am always excited when the new year approaches. It just means looking forward to a new adventure ahead, more importantly, new challenges to overcome n experience. And what's more, 2011 will mark the start of a new decade! A decade where people my age will see their life curves rise exponentially.

Back from several parties, gatherings, meet-ups and outings what's not during the vacation break. What strucked me was the idea of 'life-long friends' or the lack of them. What characterizes LLF frm the rest, and what defines them? Just imagine a friends 'movement chart', as I call it, and it's pretty interesting to notice the people moving in and out of that chart. And I just got this nudging feeling that the 'turnover' rate is pretty high for most people. It will be interesting to find that out :)

2010-11-23T09:41:00.000-08:00

I wanted to blog bout decisions while i was running juz now. but now, i have decided not to. how fast can decisions change. and how much impact can some decisions have in our lives. One decision and it can make a whole lot of difference to the way we live, the way we think and the way we behave. cool, and now, i have decided to write on it again. Was juz going thru all the major decisions i've made in my 21 years (okay, probably not 21 'cos i wouldn't even remember what decisions i made in primary sch let alone adolescence) and was trying to evaluate whether i made the 'right' choice. Was pondering how different my life will turn out if i had decided on the alternatives instead. Just take for example, if i have decided to pursue something else instead of doing engineering for a degree, i wouldn't be so shell-shocked at how empty my handed-in exam papers were (and i still am, lol). Nah, i still don't regret my decision(s) but that's beside the point. Maybe i'll be less concerned with practising my papers and would be hanging out more and having a more fulfilled time. And guess what, i have another paper tomorrow, genius. lol. but thankfully its the last. Will be letting steam off at supercamp on thurs onwards. Hopefully i can find new meaning in my future decisions that i make. :)

2010-10-18T02:42:00.000-07:00

Life's tough. But no one said it was easy.

Busy, busy, busy...

relationship

2010-09-28T03:25:00.000-07:00

Think of relationship as a reaction.
The couples are the reactants and the result of their r/s, the product(s).
Whether the equation occurs depends on the compatibility of the reactants.
acids and bases react, acids and carbonates react, bases and carbonates don't.
External factors, circumstances, situations, parties are just like catalysts, spectator ions, unreacted reactants in the equation.
They do not affect the reaction, they only help to quicken/slow down the reaction.
Whether or not the reactants react, it's ultimately up to the reactants themselves.
it's the him n her that make relationships work. No one else.

2010-09-20T19:23:00.000-07:00

The feeling of disappointment is so much more difficult to bear when one has a higher expectation. And with continual setbacks comes the denting of one's confidence. To find oneself in a unfamiliar territory of failings and withdrawal, to be hit by rejections and to have confidence at an all time low.. I am that someone for now.. And the feeling's unbearable, especially when things just do not go according to plan.

But i know that these episodes will only make me stronger, 'cos the harder and faster i fall, the greater and swifter i will be back.
I juz wanna tell myself that i can. Yes i can.

Finally!

2010-09-08T03:39:00.000-07:00

YEs, finally i have updated. Somehow feels like writing after like such a long break. Actually its not really the duration, but how much i feel like penning down my thoughts at this moment. Wondering why i m not slping at this unearthly hour but surfing the net, being on facebook, blog-hopping, juz reading other people's thoughts, events happening around, outside of my own little shell. And I realised that for this whole month (yes, one month of uni has actually passed) that i have been too occupied by sch life, sch work, hall activities, outside stuff that i had barely time to take a breather. Life's pretty intense man. Like seriously, how i wish i can slow down my work. Like be less 'efficient' with my work. Take a look around at my surroundings, catching up with friends over a meal, having some personal time for myself like doing some readings (i have not read for AGES). Yeah, i wonder when can i do that, with tests coming up and still some catching up to do. And i sort of came to a conclusion that the older one gets, the less reflective one will become, due to the situations that forced adults to juz lead monotonous lifestyles with little time to reflect upon life. Work after work after work. Someone plz prove me wrong, cos i don't wanna end up like that in the future. I want a life. lol. till then, cya! (hopefully it wouldn't be in 6 months time!)

2010-04-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

I can see that i've not been posting here since a few months ago. haha. laziness i would say. but more of catching up with the fast paced lifestyle tat there's rarely time to stop and reflect on things.

Well, guess I've been spending my time productively & to a certain extent, meaningfully. Feb & March were more of like 'enjoyment' months for me. After all the relief teaching experiences in jan, took up less mentally-draining odd jobs like helping out in the MOE GEP branch as a temp staff & working on a math proj for vj. And besides continuing tuition as my main source of income, Feb and March were pretty relaxed. More meet-ups, gatherings, bumping around, b'day celebrations (many thanks for those who turned up! and everyone for ur wishes!), more bumping around, awesome Taiwan trip (part 2. lol.) and yeah, in a blink of an eye, we are already close to a quarter through april. Fast is an understatement to describe the way time passed.

Settling in for a more 'proper' job. Not really a job i would say 'cos the pay's really peanuts. Internship at IE Singapore currently, with of course, some real hands-on work experience in a corporate setting as well as learning purpose as two motivations for the really low pay. It's time to get going for April and May for now. 2 months of hard-work before slowing down the pace for the start of uni. Guess it'll just be right. :) Camps coming up in may/june! a pretty exciting prospect. Signing up for hall/freshmen's camp and stuff. and of course, supercamp and if i may, another camp as a camp leader.

On a side note, I have begin to slowly notice more of the people around us. While driving juz now, the image of this old man pushing a really huge cart with cardboard boxes on it caught my attention. Though i have seen many such sights, somehow, the sombre feeling seeps in and yea thought about how their generation actually sacrificed so much for ours to be present at the moment. Our society's here for the fact that they were, & still are. Since young, I have always been wanting to contribute to the elderly, one way or another. And after visiting my grandma at the nursing home, it sort of strengthen my will to do so. Can't help but feel sorry whenever i see a pitiful sight of an elderly on the streets, juz like the one i saw today.

That's the food for thought for today i guess. Might be a while before i'll be back again. Intern's researches and tuition's taking up a bit of my time for now. HAH. Till then

Yongyboi

2010-01-25T11:15:00.000-08:00

Last day of teaching at Manjusri Sec today! Has been an awesome day so far, as contrast to last mon. :) things will only get better: i believe in that. haha. Lessons turn out to be much better and though life's a little hectic now, there's the taipei trip to look out for tmr! It's time for a break and how timely it is. Am excited for the trip and can't wait to go. ;) Just letting my hair down, go loose and relax for the week. Jan has been a very enriching experience in terms of learning for me and it's time i reward myself and indulge in self-enjoyment :D Hope all you peeps out there are having an awesomely good time as well!

Bad day

2010-01-18T19:00:00.000-08:00

Not a good day today at all. Sch's tiring and I'm kinda losing the motivation to teach. Tuition's cancelled cos student didn't inform me that he was still in sch and had quarrel with mum. Not happy, at least for today. Just wanted to vent out frustrations here. I hope tmr will be good, will make sure it's better than today. It could just be Monday blues! Cheer up tys

2009-12-10T14:22:00.000-08:00

No work today except for a tuition assignment at night. it feels great to have some free time to tidy up stuff and relax. quite relieved that i quit the internship opp on tues since it really didn helped me in learning. If not i ll still be in the office now trying to edit pieces of data and wasting my time away..

Spent a great day yesterday out. met up with the kool kids in the afternoon at PS and orchard. mixing arnd with them makes me feel so young and really allowed me to relive the memories of the past. how i wish i was still 14 years old. haha. had a wonderful time eating, doing crazy stuff, playing in the arcade, taking neo prints (first in a long time), walking up orchard road, spending time on the roof top garden in OC and chit chatting along the way. The kids are so lively and i could feel aches in my feet and legs after a while. an indication that i m getting old. lol. prob cos i m still recovering from stand chart.

Went to meet up with eddie, lena n andi for porridge before eddie has to fly off tmr. felt quite bad that lena came all the way juz to makan with us. Touched!!haha. will meet up soon again for some mahjong session and durian feast! met up with zz and yr after that at heeren before the rest joined. nice meet-up after a long while not seeing the rest. an apt time also since we were discussing about chalet stuff. Had a nice chat with jc and i m so happy and glad for her :) oh n zz, paiseh, i realised i haven returned u ur book! Lastly went out for a late night supper with vic. nice seeing him having great time training and at least liking his job so far. hopefully for the rest of us who have alrdy ord-ed, we are all spending our time fruitfully. :)

Anyway, standard chartered marathon on sunday was insanely crazy. ran with the pain till 39km when i couldn take it anymore. the last stretch was perhaps the worse where i was walkin at a super slow pace and yet the pain in the knees and feet was killing me. Of course though, the accomplishment and sense of satisfaction upon completion of the race was immense. Phew. aft tat, i told myself, okay that was it, no more marathon for me!

next few days will be time to rest and recover. some stuff still needs to be settled and more meet up with frienz awaiting!! x'mas coming and new year's approaching, can't wait!

Have a joyful holiday everyone!

2009-12-08T12:11:00.000-08:00

So here i am, finally back to blog. It'll be a long one this time round. realised i didn post in november. yup, finally O-R-D-edddd! freedom to do things that i wanna do and wish to do.

The past week or 2 have been overwhelming. Supercamp Singapore November 2009 finally came to a closure on sat evening. I guess the whole experience in that 10 days will stay in my heart for a very long period of time. The songs, dances, games, activities, learnings, sharings, tears, joy, htht s and all kinds of emotions blew me off, literally. Even though everyday seems longer, and more tiring, everyone seems more energetic and lively day after day. The spirit was immensely strong, as everyone is just living in the euphoria of the camp, with wonderful memories lingering. Awesome is the word which we have been using. And i think its just so apt for it. Awesome camp, awesome, people, awesome time.

These are my reflections which i wrote during the camp (which i thought would be nice to share, ha ha):

Day D-2, D-1, D-0 (training days):

It was a great start and end to today's training. Totally stunned when they opened the doors to the room and we just went in and danced like crazy people. A total culture shock i would say. Felt quite awkward initially but after letting loose a while, letting myself go, it felt surprisingly quite comfortable. The first day was more of getting out of the comfort zone and meeting people from all walks of life and literally from all places in life. Ended the day with some deep sharings and i'm already looking forward to the next day!

2nd day of training, learnt even more, more tangible ideas on how to be a better group leader. It was particularly interesting to actually enjoy dancing to the music as i know that i am slowly letting go of who i am, getting out of whatever stigma that i have and go with the flow. Some of the activities, esp barrier breaking was impactful and i hope this can carry me on during my lifetime. Just want to say thanks to the people in the room who trusted each other to share our deepest thoughts. It's amazing how much we learnt and trusted each other in just 2 short days. D-day please come soon!

Last day of training was more "logistics" as we prepared for the big day tomorrow. Went through all the tedious preparations and realised how much we actually are putting in into this camp. I am convinced that it'll definitely be an awesome camp, 7 days of learning and fun. I'm so excited and ready about it. Come'on, BRING IT ON!!

Day 1:

First day of Supercamp! Didn't know how exhausting it can be till i'm really doing it. Baggage handling for the kids was a great time to talk to them. Most of them seem to be apprehensive of me, as if i would eat them up. lol. The come-in song played and the intro into the main roo begun. Though it started pretty slowly, with all the kids just staring blankly and too stunned to even move or clap to the music much like how i was literally when i went into training on day 1, the atmosphere picked up after the first few hours. Felt a little nervous or even scared of whether the kids will think that this is just another camp for them, or whether that the whole thing will turn out to be unsuccessful. But right now, i guess the kids, esp the younger ones are pretty enthusiastic and zealous about things. It's quite comforting to see kids getting encouraged and motivated to do stuff that they have not tried before.
I learnt more than ever today. Powerpegs for memory was great and the presentation for "FIMAGE" which means no fear of image was amazing as the kids seem to have grasp the idea of just letting themselves go in the mainroom. Really cool how the ideas or strategies, though may sound familiar, are actually brought out so uniquely and differently each time. I'm so glad that i am here. Am definitely looking forwaqrd to tomorrow soon, and having more time with my awesome group, the Kool Kids!!

Day 2:

Yet another awesome day. (realise i use the A word alot. haha) Felt that my comfort zone is growing bigger by the day and i'm learning ever more each day. Today, i really deepened my relationships with the people around me a lot after all the talks and games. I was just comforting to have the whole group together, esp during quiet time. We also shared our closest memories and experiences with our group and it feels good to recieve recognition for the things that i've done and at the same time recognising others for what they have achieved. I'm liking this more and more each day :)
It's only day 2 and it's ONLY GOING TO GET BETTER! I hope the friendships in this camp can be brought further and that it will just be the first of many supercamps to come. I love SC, i love Kool Kids. Simply amazing how in just 2 days, relationships can grow so kin. It's amazing. It's an amazing feeling to be here.

Day 3 (human zipper activity):

Kool kids just went for the human zipper activity. It's really awesome to see how much the team trusted each other, and letting everyone else fall with no doubts or fears at all. The power of motivation. The power of trust. The power of support. Powerful is the word. Today's even better than yesterday and as the saying goes, it's only going to get better. Tomorrow will be the test of trust that the team has for and within themselves. Outdoor adventure day beholds!
I'm totally immersed and involved in the group and in the camp. The whole experience has certainly brought me far and allowed me endless space to grow and develop. Like what i always say, i can't yet wait for the next day to come! I love Kool Kids. You guys are awesome.

Day 4 (ODAD and poetry night):

My poem in less than 20 mins (just don laugh):

2 years of hardships finally gone;
Out of NS, head no longer bald.
Lost was I, in the mind and soul;
I wanted something to feel that empty hole.

Up i went for Supercamp;
I sang like crazy, i danced like mad.
I never thought that this was it;
But a step i took, i never regret.

We laughed and cheered and had lotsa fun;
Went outdoors today, up n up we climbed.
Little did we know that we could do,
what we thought we'd never have done.

End of day 4 here it comes,
yet the time we spent felt so much more.
The relationships and friendships that we've made,
will be powerful and strong and forever more.

:) the poem basically encapsulate my thoughts at the end of the day. i just want to acknowledge the campers that night because they were just brillant, being able to craft out much more beautiful poems, making that night so memorable.

Day 5:

Another amazing day. 2 more days left to go. I'm filled with emotions right now, knowing that we have buit such a strong team, knowing that we've built 5 days of friendship which felt like 5 years. Time flies, and how i wish that this supercamp, though tiring, can go on for years. I don't wanna miss waking up early in the morning seeing the guys playing cards in the room and their always smiling faces. I don't wanna miss the g-o-o-d m-o-r-n-i-n-g chant that the girls upstairs scream every morning. I don't wanna miss the jumping and dancing around in the mainroom like i am doing everyday now. I don't wanna miss doing crazy stuff and having so much fun in Supercamp.
Today's biggest take-away for me was the activity on label. I know that i don't have to care about the labels that people put on me and i wish such stuff will not bother me in the future. I just wanna be myself and not be affected by whatever things people have to say. Come on everyone, take off that mask and be that real you.
I'll cherish the last 2 days cos it ll be great. I don't wanna miss a thing. How i wish this can go on and on and on... I love Kool Kids, I love Supercamp.

Yepps. realised i didn't write for the last 2 days. But i know exactly how it felt to be part of this great experience. Phew. It's over now but of course the ending is just a new beginning. To all supercampers nov 2009 out there, don't be sad that it's ended, be glad that you were part of it :)

Till then, i will post more on SC and my life. Take care folks!

Boringgg

2009-10-19T20:40:00.000-07:00

Have been reading Men-in-White for the past few days. It's just unanimous that everyone seems to regard it as a 'propaganda' tool. Well, at least thats wad i concurred after so many such occurences when people will just come up to me and say, "isnt the book propagand-ish , ready to join politics and the PAP eh?" haha, i don't think i will go into politics, hate all the politicking (even when i am in SAF now) and bureaucracy. Not sure what prompted me to get the book but i just knew i was quite excited about it when the book first published. And i think it's a good buy, though i have not finished reading yet. Provided much insights into the past and knowledge about the history of Singapore. Whether the story and interview records given by the politicians are entirely true or not will be up to you to judge for yourself ;)

Will be going back camp ltr at night. 9 more working days as of today. haha. Though it seems time spent in camp is more productive than back at home when i will sleep through the entire morning almost everyday less bringing my grandma for a walk on occassional days. Lethargic is the description for it. haha. thats why. Nua-ing at home isn't the most productive manner of spending quality time eh.

Did some exercises by going to the gym and pool on alternate days and bringing mum out on monday for a meal. How good will life be if i don't need to work but the income keeps coming. haha. Went for some job interviews too. And today i found myself in a group interview where i was the only guy candidate. :o And definitely, i have the least make-up (i had NONE) amongst them all. Their cosmetics can scare you off, even in the day, lol.

Okay, behold a life after ORD. (sleep, eat, shit)^infinity. ^-^

2009-10-16T01:28:00.000-07:00

Its quite funny looking back at past photos. And realise that we have all changed so much. Call it nolstagia or reminiscent, the feeling of taking a break and looking at pictures from the past is pretty heartwarming. Yeah. Other than having some regrets that few of the familiar faces have already distanced to strangers.

2009-09-24T01:21:00.000-07:00

I'm quite tired out sometimes. but guess days are passing pretty smoothly, as in i know what i wanna do each day, instead of juz lazing around. Of course, there's always the temptation to do so. But after reading or rather re-reading the 7 habits (sry hh, 've yet to pass u) i began to have a plan for every week, though not always does the reality follow what is being laid out. still, i m learning to grasp the unfamiliar and regaining confidence.

XY's flying off tmr, george's leaving next thurs as well. bon voyage to them and many others. as much as i m envious of them, i know it's not right to compare. in life, no two things are the same, literally.

Will have a nice sleep n am looking forward to JB trip tmr!

2009-09-12T02:08:00.000-07:00

Things sometimes, somehow just don't fall in place. Just like today. Mood's kinnda sucks with no apparent reason. I hate to be myself. for now.

2009-08-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

September is here. Yet another month gone. August was a pretty fulfilling month with meet-ups with friends, family gatherings and a long awaited class 3 driving license i got today =) Basically wrote 5 pages worth of 'essay' into my diary on the events in august. Pretty much looking forward to the next month. Will be busy trying to come up with some personal portfolios and essays for applications. Got a friendly mail from an acquaintance regarding internship in DSTA. An area i'm looking to venture into after ORD. Oh btw, i changed my mind again somehow. Gonna extend the end of army's green to a few more days later. Decided to go ROC with my company instead, thanks to some persuading from boss, friends as well as consideration of various factors on my own. Nope, won't change my mind this time round. haha. Besides DSTA, there's always the opportunity of teaching/tutoring or juz relief teaching. And of course, admin work at some office. Guess many ORD-to-be guys out there are also considering their options. Let's just see where fate brings us to...

On a short break these few days. After concentrating hard on driving till today, finally can pull the brakes. Seriously tot i was gonna fail initially esp when i made the wrong turn in the circuit. Felt more nervous than i was in an exam la. I think. cos of the stupid mistake. but after a while, juz whack la, still have to finish the test anyway. And how relieved and delighted i was to see the word 'PASSED' on the result slip. Got to drive my mum's car later in the day when she came and fetch me from camp. (had to go back to do some report: kena arrow) Oh, and to mention it, guess credit goes to my driving instructor for being so patient with me despite my impatience of his nagging and sorts. haha.

okay, thats it for now i guess. badly need inspiration for the future.

2009-08-14T22:30:00.000-07:00

listening to 'ai yu xi wang' on the com now. nice song by JJ Lin. 1 month since i updated. which also means 1 more month nearing to the magic number. ha ha. And to think that i contemplated extending that date due to boss's persuasion and emotional attachment to the people in the company. but then again, after doing the 'cost benefit analysis', not listening to the boss (for once) might be the better choice. lol.

Life's pretty much not changed since the last post. Though now, i've been exercising much more than usual. partly due to the $75 bucks i paid for standard chartered marathon at the end of the year. and also partly i felt super unfit so i sort of came up with an exercise regime for the month and beyond. run, swim, gym and sports. sounds good eh. just hope i don't collapse at the end of the year for the killer run. ha ha.

Switched to using Apple's Safari from the conventional Internet Explorer. the latter has been giving me problems uploading/downloading and is a tad slower than the one I'm currently using. Pretty comfortable with the different format and tabs after a while. And it helps if i intend to switch to a Mac next time too. :) I seriously think I'm getting 'in love' with the MacBook. Hopefully the cost of it doesn't deter me from purchasing one. Just one irritating point of Safari though, it underlines words with wrong spelling in red, just like Microsoft word, so I'm like typing perfect English words now. ha ha (notice the difference of this expression from the previous posts.)

Today was a fulfilling day too. Went Tampines to meet shiyi to buy farah's present before giving her a 'oh my god' surprise at E hub in downtown. ha ha. Had dinner at a korean BBQ chicken eatery before jia qing, george and ee loong joined. Nice to have such a mini class gathering, especially when i missed the Monday's one at hs's house. Went to jalan jalan at white sands before heading home. Great to meet old friends and catch up on each others' lives. It just makes one misses school. awww. Anyway, will be going back VJ tomorrow for ODAC reunion dinner. Can't wait!

Will be crazily chiong-ing driving for the next 2 weeks. Test is on 31st this month! Not much confidence though. ha ha. I think probably cause I don't wanna bear the heavy disappointment should i really fail. Will be practicing hard during the next few lessons so hopefully everything turns out well!

After tomorrow, life's back to square one. Then again, it always does, doesn't it?

2009-07-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

Finally we've got the "Get out of jail" card. close to 3 weeks detached from the outside world. kindda miss home, family, friends and hanging around. Guess the only people i ve interacted with for the past weeks are my company mates and nobody else. Jurong island's getting mundane. Having 4 days out of 6 stuck in the small building and island doesn really help in personal development mentally, physically as well as psychologically.

Gotta spend the week's break aft tues to chill out, relax. so many movies to watch, so many things to buy, so many things to do. And i feel sleepy. drowsy. in daze most of the time. have not listened to my fav playlist for quite long so prob catering time for more downloads and playbacks.

091109, the magic number. good thing that its nearing soon.

Photos!

2009-06-21T23:47:00.000-07:00

Decided to post some photos onto this new blogskin. yay. couldn stand the old one long enough. too kiddy for me le. lol. not comprehensive enough the pics, definitely. i was juz glancing thru some of the old pics and thought these are the nicer ones that ll evoke wonderful memories of the past. :)

2009-06-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

Close to half a year of 2009 has passed now. how fast this year went by. Think i has encountered even more these last 6 months than in the past. seen a lot, learnt plenty, matured even more. Since last post, it has been rather busy. Still trying to find time to recharge myself for the next lap of marathon.

So after rushing back n forth btw camp and for my granddad's wake, there was the proficiency test for my coy over the weekend. still adjusting to a different kind of operations from CTC/AIOC. then there's the challenge of the PC cum 2I/C role altogether on top of maintaining the level of standard for the men. A trying period i would say. phew. sometimes i wonder why am i so exhausted when i lie on the bed. At least the 2 days of off from mon gave me a little of a breather.

Of course, if i succumb to such pressure or tireness, then i m not fit enough to lead 30 over men, let alone the 100+ for an OC-to-be. Self motivation i shall find from within. Just wanna share this sentence from the ranger's creed which to me, is one of the more meaningful one.

" Never shall i fail my comrade. I shall always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally right, and will shoulder more than my share of the task, whatever it may be. 100% and then some. "

Till then, i shall find back my energy for the fun and laughters in life. =)

2009-06-01T14:35:00.000-07:00

"Knowing someone passed away reinforces the notion of death."
Its scary yet inevitable. How it makes me realise even more the fragile nature of life. How, in a matter of months, a perfectly healthy person can 'degenerate' (literally) into an extremely weak and fragile body. Its heartbreaking. Its heartwrenching. Its quite unbearable sometimes.

And only at such times do we really treasure kinship. Ironically. Only at such times do we forget all the grudges we have towards each other. Laughable. Only when that person leaves us do we start to regret. Do we really want to be entrapped in this circle of stupidity, i would say?

Treasure life, i say, to everyone out there. It can end anytime. Live like there is no tomorrow. Bear no hatred, no grudges, no regrets, no nothing. For you would not want to leave with a heavy heart for things you have done, or not done.

I pray for the recovery of my granddad. It hurts to see him in a pathetically pitiful state. It hurts to see him in pain. It hurts to see him, now, a pale shadow of himself. For that, I pray.

2009-05-25T23:55:00.000-07:00

Wkend was good. Class outing on sat with george, jq, sy, hs, el. watched night at the museum 2 at cathay. thought that it was as gd as the first, witty n funny. :) went minds cafe for board games aft that and played like 4 hrs for a bill amounting to hundred and twenty. lol. It was nevertheless well-worth time spent with classmates whom i ve not met for quite some time. Supper at geylang with odac guys aft that. shiok for the stomach, bad for the body. haha, but it was really good stuff, esp the mee sua. comparable to taiwan's. lan AGAIN aft that till 5. crazily crazy. immediately collapsed aft reaching home.

Today must be one of the most well-spent unplanned day. Went jalan besar to swim and began hearing cheers from the stadium next door at 2 plus. Decided to check it out and realised its the A div soccer finals. ahah. VJ vs MJ. cool. Hearing the cheers again made me feel like - back to school. met shu hua, some grand-juniors whom i recognised, and teachers there. Nolstagic - the scene brings me back to 3 fateful years ago when VJ clinched the title aft 3 late goals, defeating the same opponent 4-2. That was simply unforgettable. This time round, the Victorians did not disappoint, beating our opponents in both actions and voices. it feels good cheering the same old cheers, rooting for the same old school and feeling the same old spirit. simply awesome. =D Nil Sine Labore.

Ho Ho asked me this qn juz now: So have you moved on or do u still miss VJ? My ans: Both. =)

Tactics test tmr and two more weeks to end of course. till then!

2009-05-03T18:51:00.000-07:00

What a "sporty" weekend it was. it was months since i felt like totally shagged out. burning thighes and aching muscles. simply shiok. rekindled the kid in me, how i have always wanted to ride the bike, kick the ball, shout the words and play the games. The ever suffocating lifestyle in ocs has stuffed that out for long and i m quite glad i finding the passion back for sports.

Labour day was quite 'labourous' (lol). Celebrate MF's bdae followed by cycling around ecp. and to add to the record, its been like 3rd or 4th time that i had a tyre punctured while riding the bike. =) pretty much the style in which i work. gung-ho, juz whack and it doesn gives much security does it. haha. Went to jh's hse for some crazy antics. mass-dancing in the room! its been super long since i did that, prob y i forgotten like 80% of the moves. sadnessss.. still rmbed i tried to prac the moves at home when i was an ogl. haha. and of course, the music brings back wonderful memories of the school.

night cycling with the odac guys. all-tme low attendance for once. haha. anyway, we can hit a new route if it happens again. like punggol, woodlands, jurong east? visited jasm n hh and returned to mother home VJ aft that to cap off the route. imagine playing floorball at 4am in VJ hall. yes, we did that, and i think it was will be one of the most enjoyable moment for some time to come. tiring but fun, tremendously. and think again, what if u are the security guard seeing 6 half naked guys hitting the floorball sticks in the middle of the night and making hell lot of noise. LOL. insanity maybe. the lack of sleep is doing the trick. :) attempted to climb to PT rooftop but access was locked. if not prob more crazy things would have happened. haha. slpt (finally) for like 2 hrs at HOME, yea odac room. and to the horrors of juniors juniors. i.e the 25th batch entering, seeing 6 half naked (make it 5, minus monster who doesn need to sleep, lol) guys slping in the room.

Breakfast at macs before soccer. kena owned like free at the street soccer court. muscles juz don feel like moving. ha. felt slow and clumsy. and it wasnt 1pm that i got back home and slpt like a dog for the whole day, minus the time for dinner. Table tennis this afternoon with ts n adrian. more adrenalin and like adrian said, a more challenging game. felt more into shape and really finding back my love for table tennis. alot thx to the tv show which made the 3 of us started playing. haha. hopefully this can continue for some time to come.

Life will resume to normacy soon. plz let some interesting things happen in SAFTI this week. CTC's over soon! and AIOC's looming. outfield, here i come.

2009-04-19T03:16:00.000-07:00

Shucks. Arsenal are out of the FA cup. Juz crossing my fingers that the same thing wouldn happen again for champions league, though that's a high possibility. :x

Everyone's getting busier by the day. at least for now. weekend's are getting less interesting each time. Aimless. listening to music in the dark like now feels peaceful. Allows me to draw strength from the lyrics and recapture the beautiful memories of the past.

说好的幸福呢-周杰伦

填词:方文山作曲:周杰伦

你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌假作没事了
时间过了走了爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

it's time to relax
and continue to imagine...

2009-04-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

first day of CTC. boring like crazy. haha. in bunk using the issued laptop. lots of organisational learning today. super dry stuff. the scene outside bunk is pretty nice facing the SDC lake. feeling quite relaxed now.. intended to run round campus juz now but laziness won the inner struggle. lol.

anw, juz wanted to add this quote to yesterday's post.

" Courage is grace under pressure "

2009-04-01T22:06:00.000-07:00

felt like writing about this topic that has been tickling me the whole day: Confidence. Wikipedia English defines as such: Confidence is generally described as a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. For me, its just the notion of, "you can do it, just do it"

what triggered me was a couple of reasons. well, actly nowadays i m beginning to feel more and more out of sorts. esp when sometimes things repeatedly don't go ur way or didn result in a way u expected them to. and its esp so when u really thought that those things can be done with not much difficulty. it dampens self belief. and it makes u wonder if u were actly right to begin with so much faith in your own abilities to see things thru.

was it that my expectations were a notch higher than they shld really be? of course there is no physically gauge to such things. i wish there were. or is it because i thought of myself as too good for my own good? it feels like a defeat against ur inner self at times. and the feeling of such failure isnt really nice. its bitter actly.

it kills self confidence. i hate to think that i m losing it. but i think i m.
can things turn around soon plz?

2009-03-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

The past 2 days have been pretty useful for me. basically i m like on this course called the "coaching for performance and development". It faciliates effective coaching for peers and subordinates. some framework and models they use i found pretty interesting. And i thought, maybe the blog will be a good platform for me to share on the lessons taught and allow myself to reaffirm the things learnt.

Coaching is in essence a fundamental responsibility carried by the chain of command to improve performance, learning and commitment of their subordinates while on the job. However, that being said, coaching can be done upwards, i.e coaching ur boss and it can be almost transparent, when the coachee doesn't even know he/she is being coached. So purpose of coaching is simply put, to "bring out the best in people". But that to be noted, coaches do not develop people, they equip people to develop themselves. Good coaching will assist subordinates (in general) to be aware and be responsible for their own performance and to help them realise that potential.

And this is done through severely models (which can be like found in many different coaching books or in google). what the course practices is the G.R.O.W which i thought was one of the better ones. But before we embark on the model, lets take a look at the 7 learning disabilities. These are basically the negative attitudes which hinders growth.

1. "I am my position" - This reflects that the person is in his comfort zone and refuses to change from status quo.
2. "The Enemy is out there" - Deflecting responsibilities, pointing fingers at everyone else for things that go the wrong way.
3. The illusion of taking charge - 'new broom, sweeps clean' anology, saying someone new in-charge implementing (many) new changes, sometimes for the sake of it. (without knowing the historic perspective of it)
4. The Fixation of Events - the inter-connection of events. how something bad can affect another.
5. The parable of the boiled frog - (if u have read one of my previous posts, i mentioned bout this story before) how unreactive one is to changes to the surroundings can result in him/her losing out.
6. The delusion of learning from experience - no. of years in service is not = to experience. The lessons learnt, recorded and not repeated are.
7. The myth of the management team - looks only --> no synergy within --> no substance

And the next thing to explore would be effective communication for better coaching. Communication is a very powerful tool in coaching, allowing ourselves to express what we want to see in our coachees and for them to react. Communication - sharing of ideas and feelings - depends on three components, words - 7%, tone of voice - 38%, body language - 55%. and body langauge depends on Eye contact, Facial expression, Gestures, Posture and Proximity/Space. ( i guess many of us have alrdy known these points mentioned) And a very effective way of communication would be to adopt the convergence-divergence method. That is, to "talk rubbish" and open up coachee before embarking on the topic. This builds rapport and ease coachee into the session.

And for communication to be Effective, there's a need for empathetic listening. This refers to paying attention to speaker's total communication (both verbal and non-verbal), identifying with the speaker, and essentially, listening with the heart. But ultimately what i feel is that we must be curious about what the speaker has to say before we can carry out empathetic listening. And on the reverse, for ur coachee to be emphthetically listening to you, u can develop empathetic response by asking him to repeat/rephrase content.

And thirdly, there's a need for facilitative questioning. Basically, it is a process of asking deep questions to further probe into the coachee and allow him to think deeper into the problems he's facing and how he can come up with solutions himself. It is also a tool for coachee to open up and provide relevant information and allow coaches to inquire more about the coachee. Facilitative Questions are basically non yes/no questions that invites exploration and as far as possible do not ask 'why' questions. eg."why are you late?" vs" are there any reasons that caused u to be late"

Ok, so now, fundamentally, what are we looking at. We are looking into developing awareness and responsiblity in whatever problems (if there is) the coachee is facing. Thats the basis. Then we look into the G.R.O.W model. okay, Grow is basically:

G - Goals
R - Reality
O - Options
W - What's next

T'm sure some of us have heard of, or even used this model before. Its actly ( i thought) quite a simple framework in which we can work upon to develop ourselves, not just coaching. We first establish what we want in life, what we want to achieve. Then we look into the realism of it. and constantly look back if needed, to see if it is realistically enough a goal for it to be achieved. Then, we will explore the options of achieveing the goals. we develop the action plans for them. after which, we execute them. :)

ok, but being a course, they must look professional, so there are like around 10? more other frameworks which like work hand-in-hand which each other. for example, to develop ur goal, there is the 'creative tension model' and to look into reality there is " ladder of inference" and "reality-GAP analysis". For options, there is the "hierachy" of choices and for what's next there is the "S.M.A.R.T goals". Super complicated. haha.. if put together that is. i think i also don't really know how to explain some of them.

then, they also mentioned IDAP which is the individual development action process which is like journalling, for coachee to pen down each coaching session for follow-up actions and the things mentioned during the session for learning purposes.

Phew, and i've not mentioned other concepts. but well, i guess the more impt and i thought relevant ones are those said above. The course was really quite informative though it really difficult not to doubt its use practically, esp in army's context. We did some role-playing and practises the various skills, such as facilitative questioning and watching more of our body language when talking.

Hopefully what i ve written made some sense. lolx. i think i m damn free to pen down all these. was i so interested in the course, or am i juz too bored? lolx. still one more day to go tomorrow though, mayb something more will come tmr.

Anw, i failed my FTT today! haha.. random

2009-03-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Congrats to willy, zene and the rest for finally being able to toss the cap aft 9 months of training. its never easy to go thru that. yea. it muz have felt the same as we did 3 months ago. unbelievable. anw, the parade was good. much better than dec's one i thought. haha. feels better watching it from a civilian's point of view. at leastnot sweating and not so anxious standing down there in the parade square. still could feel the same "sae" that the parade gave me when i first watched it as a cadet. how my hair stood and feeling the pride of an officer again was testament to the power of the officer's creed.

Yesterday made me think back of my ocs days and how i went thru the ups and downs of those 9 months. its a really special place there. and i always like to tell others how much i ve grown during that period. which is, i guess, so much very true for the others.

now tat commission parade is over, next would be to look forward to ord! haha. get ready the countdown timer on ur OA accnt. anw, i m like really into on-course mood now. a one week course starting from tmr, before a 3 day break followed by another 2 months of course. shiok. haha. but sometimes still feel a little sad that i ll be leaving my platoon with i ve been training with for the past 2 months. nevertheless, been looking forward to a different 2 months ahead!, abeit some really mad rush of studying and cutting/drawing of talc. haha

anw, am using my bro'snew laptop to type out this post. quite cool man. i ve never had a laptop in my life before but all well, it all too common nowadays to have one. juz that i don have the need as of now. if not i would have alrdy gotten one during the IT fair! haha.

life's still revolving round army. prob thats y less n less army guys are updating their blogs.. haha.. thats also becos i m so much more free and have nothing much to do!

bla bla.. now i need to find out how to get to that ulu camp tmr for my course. cya, prob very soon.

2009-03-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

total has been a home-ly day for me. well, practically stayed at home the whole day. brought granny for walk in the morning. it has somewhat becomes a ritual for me, bringing her to the temple every week, a good sunday's breakfast at the hawker centre and a stroll around bugis area, sometimes to the wet market to get the ingredients for everyday's meal. am increasingly feeling satisfied from this simple act, finding joy from granny's laughters.

Spent the afternoon working on EDS essay. instead of juz going for many scholarships without knowing if i m really interested in in (a mistake which i made last year), i decided to apply to the organisations which i felt most comfortable with. Have a gameplan (finally after more than a year of hesitation and indecisiveness) and may it not game over so soon. lol

anw, i bought a new camera at IT fair for 99! a nikon coolpix at a bargain. hopefully the pics taken wouldn turn out to be blurry or anything. its been quite some time since i spent on material goods (im serious, lol). prob getting a new bed for mum as well next week.

finished watching the channel 8 show at 4.30 just now. really made me think hard about what they said. its not easy to love someone. but its even harder to stop loving someone. and is it in the face of life and death only do we know who are the ones we cherish and treasure the most? loving someone is not about possessing him/her so will that love die off when that person is no longer around?..

jsut some food for thoughts. haha. anw, am currently reading the book: 7 habits of highly effective people, courtesy of eric ma. ya, am on course in becoming a highly effective person (lolx). although the thoughts of the author and the way he writes it is rather complex, there are actually some ideas in the book which actually are very true in reality. still halfway into reading, shall share more bout it soon! a good recommend for peeps who finds life super ineffective now, like in the army? hahaha

alright, dinner soon. till then, cya

2009-03-08T11:48:00.000-07:00

Victorian's day yesterday. not bad an event la, though as usual, less than expected pple turning up. our batch was still ok i guess, quite a few familiar faces here and there. its feels gd to juz walk around the campus again juz like we used to do in the past. the concourse, the foyer, the area outside the staff room, the canteen, odac room, harmoc room, the hall, the treehouse, the LTs, the grand piano, the rock wall, the classrooms, the scrabble board, the rooftop, the performance theatre, the everything. Most things still remained the same, the canteen vendors and their usual big smiles on their faces, the super messy yet cosy odac room as it is, the same old (not literally) teachers n friends now. though, there are changes too, like the mega huge mirror before entering the hall, the artistically painted walls of the toilets, the enlarged staff room and so-on. The memories still very much intact nevertheless :) sometimes the feeling juz can't be described. yes, the word is indescribable. I miss VJC DAYS!!

went for movie wif jq n gang aft that, had a long day chatting and talking, catching up on the days.. it seems like we haven't really changed since day 1 of sch. hah.. i m serious, perhaps like wad sy said mayb we are too used to each other over the years le. but who cares, it juz feels good to be able to be in company of this bunch of great friends. :)

took grandma for walk as usual this morning, and think she's slowly improving in her physical movements. hopefully, the patience is slowly paying off. having driving lessons ltr on again.. and mayb dinner at granny's hse. anw, the wk at work was really roller coaster, at a moment, everything seems to be so chaotic, then the next, everything juz seems to fall into place, proper. haha. and comtemplating an extension to ORD. shld i?

2009-03-01T06:10:00.000-08:00

Felt like i ve slept for 24 hrs loong. Woke up at like 5am this morning.. lolx. thats the time i have woken up to in the past 4 nights. screwed up human clock in me. Back from another field camp. shacked. but still managed to catch vlykrie with saw n gang aft family day yesterday.

felt more n more satisfying as a platoon commander now, being the big daddy of the men under you and developing them into better soldiers through whateva methods there is, scolding, whacking, punishing, preaching, explaining, rationalising, coaxing.. etc. taking more ownership of the guys now and family day was pretty evident of that. talking to some of their parents were refreshing, made me felt like a parent, somehow. ironically, juz one year back, it was my parents who were talking to my teachers. lol. well, did a house visit to one of my long term injury guys back on fri and met wif the usual protective parents again. its tricky to talk to them, explaining how their son's injury during training was purely accidental and assure them that it wont aggravate till it becomes a lifelong injury. thats what many nsf suffered aft 2 yrs of service i guess. which makes parents nowadays more n more protective of their kids. anw, what some of the dads said yesterday made absolute sense. That actually now the kindda NS we are going thru is nothing. compared to their days back then. n how the kids still gets injured and sick so easily is yet another irony.

enough bout work. but hey, thats like juz my life, for now. lol. thats pretty the same for the rest i guess. pple lamenting bout this n that, blah blah. but still got some things to look forward to in the next wk or so. Driving lesson for the first time tmr! can't wait. and A's results coming out on 6th mar. good luck to those recieving fabulous results on that faithful day! it was one year ago when i recieved mine. doesn feel tat long ago though. block leave next week from 6th to 12 march. mandatory for all in the coy. thought of clearing all leave juz before ord but juz as well, can take a break now that ait phase is coming to a closure.

shall bring my grandma out for the routine sunday morning walk later. the sun is rising :)

2009-02-22T13:05:00.000-08:00

The weekend is here again.. Something diff this time round though. Just came back from platoon field camp over the week. suprisingly tired despite not really doin much. Got out of camp for my btt striaght aft that on fri. thankfully i passed if not have to waste more time waiting for the next one. and finally can start to learn driving soon. hopefully can get my license before my pdl expires. haha..

Sat was well spent. had lots of fun with the harmoc peeps over at leisure park. first time there aft renovations and i felt like a kid all over again! or mayb i still am.. haha.. ice-skating for the first time, was a marvellous experience. its seems much easier than roller skating! haha.. at least when you fall (which i did like over 20 times?? ) it doesn hurt that much.. went over to the arcade aft
that for some self-amusing games. lolx. followed by some tarrot cards prediction from zz. yea, he says i will be a millionaire next time with kids who aren't mine. lolx.. took bus over to thaipan for dinner. nolstalgia feeling of taking bus 16 to the area that is so so familiar. been quite some time since i went back. wonder when will be the next. Anw, really had a wonderful day spent yesterday.. thanks for all the fun and memories =)

This year seems to be passing even faster than the last. changes shall be coming soon for the next few weeks. and i think its time for me to change my skin aft so so long? yea, prob to a happier one. this one really too emo. haha.. sry peeps for not updating the blog sometimes. it shows that i m really busy with work (lolx, excuses excuses) nah, juz lazy sometimes cos i update my own personal diary as well :)

looking forward to the days ahead, the road is bright!

shall end off with a qoute i find very interesting. For those who are disappointed with setbacks, upset with things not going your way or for anyone who is experiencing difficulties in life, just this for you all:

"Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want"

So in fact, you are gaining something despite difficult times. experiences are part of our growing up, so stay cheerful always :D

2009-02-05T23:11:00.000-08:00

One month gone in a flash am i m back for updates. janaury was an exciting month with plenty of activities goin on. Took up my appt in delta plt 10 and went straight to tekong field camp juz 3rd day into work. haha. but well, was quite a fulfilling 3-day 'break' away from the commercial world. cny was definitely fun. Had always been my fav festive period since young, and still is, though some things have inevitably changed. love the idea of meeting up with relatives/friends during this period of time to catch up and juz chill with some games of cards/mahjong. and i have to count myself lucky to have such a large extended family to celebrate cny together. well, a few regrets here and there but overall i can't complain anws.. there are much more unfortunate pple out there compared to you and me.

Have been noticing a change in myself in the recent months (weird ehs?) haha. well maybe not to some but i adopted a much more optimistic viewpoint towards life. HAve been more cheerful to last year and have learnt to control myself on certain occasions when i will definietely blow my temper. a sign that i have learnt & grown perhaps. still, i have never abolish the idea of retaining the inner child within, with myself seemingly feeling more excited and maybe intrigued in the simplest of things. and i have always loved relating to kids, cajoling them and playing w them.

Been communicating much more with my family and relatives than i would have in the past. An awkward yet helpful progression has very much seen closer ties b/w us. have been shouldering greater responsibility as a result and i m not shrinking away from that. its time anyway.. Been thinking very much about e future as well. Trying hard to stem down something concrete for myself so as least there will be a picture and not juz pieces of jigsaw puzzle undone, unsure of what is the plan next.

Febuary will be an interesting month ahead. :)

" Do the right things and not do things right"

2009-01-02T21:37:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Everyone! its been a fast journey isnt it, be it those in army, school or at work.. 2008 has gone and now we welcome the arrival of 2009 with hope, and perhaps anticipation of how the new year will turn out..

2008 was a really fruitful year for me. Even though i may be seeing green for more than half the days in the year, i have learnt numerous lessons through experiences.. These many different experiences, let it be tough, bitter, challenging or wadsoeva, has brought me up and made me grow indefinitely.. And i still am..

Hopefully, it has been for many of u out there.. it s all perception isnt it.. Whether that year is gd or bad is all up to wad we think. If u think its meaningfully spent 365 days out there, it will be.. but course cos it works the other way around as well.. But then again, the past is over so what i want to bring forth is for all to look forward to the days ahead with a sense of purpose.. Be it whatever we are doing, it shall definitely be something worth doing for, and that we shall not have any regrets for.. That way time spent will den be meaningful, isnt it..

So lets all embrace the new year with open arms and open hearts and make it a fruitful one =)

Cheers

2008-12-23T22:51:00.000-08:00

I so freaking pissed now man.. how stubborn can some pple get.. No matter how much advice we can give, it juz doesn get into her ears.. sometimes i wish i can juz wash my hands off this issue altogether man.. Every month its always the same old matter.. really getting quite sick of it

Well, when things simmer down, u ll always have a better perception of the bigger picture.. sighs.. perhaps i was harsh with words juz now.. hot-headed like how i always let my emotions get over me.. i m been trying really hard to change this, but somethings really cant be helped man.. n will end up plucking the courage to apologise n talk things in a calmer manner..

Well, its juz me

2008-12-16T00:30:00.000-08:00

EMO-XXXX!!

somehow, this time and place with music in the background juz make me think bout life yet again.. time to slow things down a little n reflect.. things have been going on so quickly.. able to grasp onto some while some are yet drifting away.. been a long journey so far.. quite amazing ar, as i look back on my path(s) for the past year.. not easy man.. going through every shit in delta and yet coming out proud to say i m a true blue delta-ian.. however tough things get, there is always an end to it.. and when we look back at those 'fearful' stuff, it all become fruitful memories.. :) juz bring back a smile on the face.. Hopefully the memories will go a long way.. Juz had a plt outing for service term.. really nice to catch up on things with pple u have not seen for quite some time.. perhaps thats the beauty of Army when u have endless things to talk about never mind it juz being only about army, we can juz relate things over n over again.. and now as we look towards the future, its a blur vision for now, but a challenging path will await us.. comms ball tmr hopefully will be fun.. den bintan trip coming along.. soon yr08 will come to a close.. really a fast year.. quite unbelivable how things have gone for me and many others.. seriously.. lots of changes in many pple's lives.. n it really proves the theory of 'army changes ur live' right.. how true.. for many perhaps for the better but well, like wad they always say, always look on the brighter side of life :)

Cos things will only get better.. say bye to the old 2008 cos the new year is coming along pretty fast..

2008-11-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

having some free time now.. actly quite alot.. time's passing rather slowly now.. more space to relax and juz chill out even though it may be juz in the bunk.. hah.. PAC was over and we r into the next and last phase of our training.. rehearsals for parade.. PAC was quite something i must say, prob the most shag exercise we have ever done in the 9 months in OCS.. how pple can juz give it their best shot, collapsing juz before the finishing line, how we juz crumpled to the ground after hitting the line, how we pushed ourselves to our physical limits and definitely beyond it.. awesome.. really.. that mental mindset of those guys are quite insane.. n i guess we would never ever complete the course at that kindda pace without the help of one another..

that's why i m proud.. i m proud to be part of the team.. even though we didn manage the win the competition, we managed to beat the weakness in ourselves.. each n everyone of us.. yes, thats it.. just keep pushing.. be it foxtrot giving us external motivation, or the monster (literally) in us telling us never to give up, we juz kept walking..

and to that, i wanna share bout this film that the guys watched a couple of days ago called:" without limits" awesome film that really made me rethink bout myself, about the effort i have put in the past 9 months.. It's a factual film about this american athelete Steve Prefontaine who almost won every middle and long distance race that he took part in his senior years.. And the way he does is was more inspiring, of how he takes the lead from the front and not relinquishing it.. he always like to say:"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the Gift." And he was never short of his best.. yet at the 1972 munich olympics, he was unable to replicate his record feat in the 5000 metres and came in at 4th place.. He somehow would give up on running after that, confidence took a dip and turn to alcohol to relive of his pain in that loss.. yet, he was inspired by his coach back into his favourite hobby a year ltr.. he trained hard and would later take part in the 1976 olympics.. He was confident of clinching the gold medal so coveted.. he had planned how he wanted to run his race.. Yet, who to know, that before he could even hit the tracks that year, he met with a car accident and died a year before..

so now, if anything, prob i can have someone to look up to for inspiration.. yupps.. time for some slping maybe? haha.. ciao

2008-11-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

I m glad that i have just finished my hw for the week. Somehow, when u feel like doing something, it could be done at ease.. But when the 'mood' isnt there, it could take ages to complete.. So i guess its the same with this post. hah..

Things are still the same, booking in and out during weekends and so on so forth.. Getting more relaxed though and its just less than a month's time to the big day. Not much to say just to qoute alvin yong:" confirm cry on commissioning".. haha.. i m waiting to see..

Had cohesion day on fri where a bunch of ns men went sentosa to play with water.. credit given to yk for organising it.. more pics can be found on facebook. :)

Had a nice midnight run on fri as well.. Somehow, again, the 'mood' sets in, and i just ran as fast and far as i would like to.. and somehow i wasnt feeling tired. it was one of the rare times i found running at such a pace relaxing..

celebrated sis's bdae at swensens on sat.. togethr with yh, got her a couple of gifts.. one of the rare times where we dined outside. will definitely treasure the times and making sure ties are kept as strong as ever.

Bringin granny for a walk ltr.. morning breeze would be nice, very nice.. =)

2008-10-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

Listening to jay chou's new song: "给我一首歌的时间" Nice tune though i still find it hard to configure the lyrics :s *blink* *blink* and 3 weeks in taiwan went past juz that. Great time training overseas and 3 days of r&r never seem long enough. I will definitely miss the good days then with all the army brudders swaying at the strong winds and puttin up endless good mission performances.. OCS days are getting shorter as we now step into the final hurdle of our cadet lives.. Panther and CSB awaits and we will definitely be relishing the biggest challenge yet: platoon assault course. So, still more to look forward too. Nope, not gonna look back at golden memories for long as better ones shall lay ahead. The challenge of being a platoon commander of unit men :)

Taiwan R&R in kaohsung was much better than that in brunei. haha. An eye-opener to the lives in taiwan. Been to many places such as the earthquake musuem and theme park in taizhong. Not forgetting the many night markets and shopping malls. typical to taiwan i guess would be the simply awesome bubble tea, taiyang bing, the enormously big corndogs, and super crowded night markets. Haha, and ya, the zhua zhua machines that jh n jc mentioned. Everywhere u can find them. They also have those pasar malam roadside games with attractive prez if u win. Super addictive. lol. Things sold in night markets are relatively cheap though the same cannot be said bout their shopping centres. Overall, it was definitely a good shopping, eating and playing experience in kaohsung. =D if only we had a chance to go taipei.. haha

now back in sing, we are back to the daily routine yet again :x how dreadful it must be to go back to camp for the first time in 3 weeks ltr in the evening.

But i am oso laying down some things that i must do/think about in the coming month before i commission.

1) Finish reading the 3 books i ve borrowed yesterday and make a trip down to Borders for more, using the $100 voucher. (anyone who wants a good read is gladly welcomed)

2) Think long and hard bout future beyong NS. This is long long overdue.

3) Apply for driving lessons and start planning ahead for it.

4) and gonna start learning (or continue) guitar.

That's all for now. When the new year comes, there will definitely be more to come. No matter how busy i may be aft i commission :)

To all juniors taking A's starting next mon, ALL THE BEST and make it count!

2008-10-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

Taiwan awaits in less than 12 hrs.. Can't really say i m totally prepared for this trip, esp since i am much less concerned (compared to brunei's trip). prob cause its the 2nd time overseas le. feeling nonchalant bout things here but well, guess momentum will pick up once we are settled in there.. actually, to say the truth, R&R will prob be the EX i am most looking forward to. haha.. and ya, thx for the well wishes, folks out there.. I will return with bags of goodies to share.. LOL..

For now, i juz hope everything will turn out fine in Taiwan. Went to the temple just now and hopefully my prayers will be heard!

Days and weeks have passed with significant events flowing by.. VJ open hse was good but not spectacular.. ODAC meet-up was kindda impromptu and showcases the indecisiveness of humans (as usual, lol).. Dinner with zz was especially heartwarming with endless things to talk about.. Class outing was great with all ns men except 2.. BBQ with platoon was way past H-hr of 6pm but nevertheless a good gathering before the looming of starlight..

So yea, summary of events and way more to come in nov n dec..

till then, 27th oct when i return =)

2008-09-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

Felt as though i m like the "frog in the well" for the past weeks. clueless bout general affairs revolving around the world and even around myself. probably indulging in my own little world that i forgot bout the much larger picture outside. Till cpt G told us bout the many significant events that happened the past 1 week. The political struggle up north, the financial crisis and whats not had since aroused my long lost interest on the world outside. Its juz quite awesome how e mechanics of economics can cause a mega firm to collapse within a few days. well, not that i fully understood the whole thing bout the subprime mortgage effect but it certainly was something that most should be concerned about, and rightly so. It affects each n every one of us, in one way or another. juz like how it caused frantic queues outside AIA. it hit us right at our doorstep.

n this somehow indirectly link to my next point, something more personal, that prob i should reconsider taking on an econs degree. haha. prob drop biz or smth. though engi n econs is kinda bad :x okay la har, some impulse decision la i would think, so i shall see for the next few weeks if this thought will last.

n yes, prep for starlight is kindda over so can somehow breathe easier. the tempo for the 3 wks was quite fast i would say. At least it is proven by the never-falling report sick rate. heh. There were quite a few missions and exercises which as usual, caused much lack of slp n the feeling of shag-ness n cui-ness.. lol.. taiwan will be worse. But the thought of R&R there will push me on =)

had dinner wif cleav, jc, jh n yr juz now. crapped alot. also had serious talk alot. and yes, ate quite alot. haha. nice see-ing them alive n kicking from all the mugging (haha) and meeting up with them aft quite some time. And i realised that they had a harmoc jacket and i think its pretty cool. heh. but anws, am giving them all the luck they need for the upcoming A's. rmb, enjoy the moments of studying if not *blink blink* it ll soon be over! jiayou!

For pple like dennis saw n jk who are entering OCS in 2 days time, i think u all oso need good luck wishes from me la hor. haha. prob some shellshock first weeks or so. =)

N not forgetting, i started my facebook account in the aftnoon today. quite lag but yea, eventually i still succumbed to the idea and signed up. i guess its juz a matter of them but well, can exploit its functions anyway. haha. and prob can aid in 'left-right' play that e horny uncles in delta plt 1 are enjoying.

tmr is sunday n its a family day! super long nvr see my maternal relatives le. prob having dinner with them tmr.. shall see what time i m bookin in. With that, it ll be soccer time soon and yes, Arsenal will own tonight, as usual =)

Cya guys and take lots of care. Till then.

2008-08-31T09:45:00.000-07:00

退后
歌手：周杰伦

天空灰的像哭过
离开你以后
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
守住我们的距离
一幕醉心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息

抽屉泛黄的日记
找到了回忆
那笑容是傻气
你我的过去
被深深真的忘记
缺氧过后的爱情
存心的眼泪是多余

我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
全被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里带去

2008-08-29T21:27:00.000-07:00

alright man, 3 weeks gone and back at home sweet home.. :) hope this short period had gone on smoothly for u guys out there.. and for myself, it was a fulfilling time training and earning myself something i ought to be proud of.. full of stories to share.. some interesting ones, some funny, prob inspirational and more impt, learning pointers in life..

like wad many have said, the course has brought out the best n worse in myself and many others.. really true, to c urself perform in the light of extreme conditions.. how mentally enduring n selfless one can get or not get.. i must say that the 9 days is one of the most gruelling period in my life thus far.. never had i felt as if i will faint any moment at several periods of the course.. never had i felt like juz stopping and giving up when a steep, endless slope stare in my face.. never had i felt the sheer weight of the pack on my shoulders and back, relegating them to mere pain n numbness.. And not forgetting the ultimate joy of reaching the finishing line.. marvellous feeling.. so yea, this course has concluded another chapter in my life, opening up a new one in the process..

so its a 4 days ( or rather 3 minus-ing off today) break from here.. recovery period.. haha.. goin out n whats not.. n glad tat i spend today at home.. at least there is my family whom i missed for the past 3 weeks.. life goes on for everyone else.. sch life must be great ba.. oh wells..

wanna get myself an ipod touch! seamus juz got his.. peer influence man.. too bad, no iphone for army man if not it will be tat for me.. shall c ba..

take care folks and enjoy whatever u all doin, be it sch/work.. till then!

2008-08-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

Watching channel 8's drama series now on the tv.. haha.. really quite dramatic.. and somewhat unreal.. its been long since i followed a drama serial le.. and i think nowadays the shows cant be compared to those in the past ba..

the past few days has been nolstalgic of some sort.. Or mayb it had been.. always that case since i entered army.. juz tat dunno for what reason, the feeling is even stronger than before.. Was like real emo-ing on my bed in the bunk on sun night, couldn get to slp (partly cos of the nap on sun) and was listening to the songs on my mp3.. replaying some of the fav songs, those that i used to listen while studying during sch.. times like this juz hit u eh.. was chatting wif my buddy too (apparently, he was emo-ing too.. heh.. ) until he fell aslp.. haha.. This week in camp, or juz 2 days, went passed super quickly and soon we were at the mess drinking away and awaiting book-out on tues night.. Went for a talk-crap session wif hp, mz and eric aft book out at jurong pt aft that before we went home at like 10 plus on the train.. had a nice talk wif mz on the train ( wif hp trying hard to listen to our probs, and eventually falling aslp.. haha)..

and yea, apology to saw for ps-ing him the next morning.. overslept the next morning to miss the agreed swim at 8am.. still feeling bad bout it man.. ps is the worst treatment for anyone.. >.< so i eventually woke up at 10 plus, perhaps suffering from the hangover of the drinks the night before.. took my time to go back VJ and looked for hoho in the aftnoon and had a nice chat wif e 'old' friend.. haha.. still 'pressurising' me to try for overseas studies man.. we shall see k.. met up wif yr and jc at the treehouse aft that.. that was prob when i really felt nolstalgic.. sitting atop, enjoying the sea breeze and watching the students strolling by, it juz brought back memories of the past.. when we were still students, in the nicest uniform ever, enjoying or not enjoying sch life and studying.. Doing the things we like the most, slacking away in the most comfortable corner of the campus and never have to worry bout anything else besides studies.. it felt juz like yesterday.. sighs.. so as i was telling yr, jc and jh, "enjoy sch life while u can!"

Little will i expect myself to miss sch so much.. haha.. for all i looked out for, in the past, was for A's to be over asap! Anw, we headed down to airport for sakae and more crap talking and gossiping.. lol.. i felt old lah, talking to the 3 of them who are like so full of energy.. haha.. envious of them perhaps at times, that they get to enjoy times like tat.. but of course happy that they are happy themselves.. thoroughly enjoyable time wif them.. and times like this juz bring army training or studies' worries away for the moment eh.. enjoyin the moment of joy..

Rushed down to meet george for red cliff at night.. he seemed to grow taller..n i think more decisive eh.. haha.. and hopefully he can get his scholarship tat he strived so hard for.. :) Had a nice (but short) talk wif him aft that before i walked my way home from cine.. the stroll along orchard road and ltr down bb road was basically like a relaxing walk down the beach.. HAH.. actly no link la but yea, was refreshing.. stopped by a foodcourt and kopitiam to makan and read along the way..

Den met up wif eric n hp for batman juz now.. wasn really that gd that i expected it to be la.. i prefer red cliff though.. aft which we went for a super long walk around the mall and den to bugis, stopping by arcade to play for a while.. basically 3 army boys wif nothing much to do.. haha.. good life or sad life? like hp said, perhaps we shld be glad that we have nothing to do n can slack off.. but though, somehow, i feel weird having nothing to do in the cv world.. lolx.. And ya, not to forget, i met yl on the way back from bugis.. she looked as cheerful as before.. haha.. looking forward to seeing her and the rest tmr!

shortly, will be going over to brunei soon.. less than 36 hrs to be exact.. actly wad yr said on her blog is super true.. the future is so uncertain and really anything can happen.. so i m not gonna think bout what will happen next but rather enjoy what is happening at the moment.. =) shall continue reading tuesdays ltr and listen to music that is so sorely lacking in my life..

Till then, take care folks.. n u..

2008-08-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

Into August now.. Phew.. super fast man.. esp this year when i think time juz went on wifout me realising how quick it was.. n soon, i will be going brunei (on 9th aug, nat day! to be exact) for like 3 weeks.. so when we return, it will soon be sept le.. haha..

The past month was quite taxing wif all the exercises and preparations.. like wad zz said in his blog, i can oso use that word "shag" to describe myself now.. aching physically and drained in the mind as well.. It seems to be a routine now eh, coming back from camp every weekend to find myself exhausted and needing to rest well over the weekend.. thats well its common knowledge that nsf like us have NO LIFE! haha.. rite jq?

Had a night out wif some of my platoon mates on fri night/sat morning out drinking.. didn wanted to go initially but pangseh is the worse treatment u can ever give out to ur friends.. haha.. so yea, even though i was quite shagged out i still went to timber to join them.. n thx to sirong's car (or rather his dad's.. haha) we went over to clarke quay for more drinks.. and apparently, the night ended quite dramatically with stix's performance, the druken peeps antics and of course pat's finale slam on the lightings on the celings which ended the event.. haha.. nice to hang out wif the peeps u see everyday, but in a diff context, altoggether..

Slept less than 3 hrs before i was awoken by the alarm clock to join saw and willy for soccer at CCAB.. first time i palyed soccer in ages ( not counting the noob appearance in SAFTI that day) and i can really feel that lack of sharpness in myself and the lost of the midas touch from my feet. sighs.. such contrast to the vs days when soccer encompasses everyday of our lives.. but still, it was a fun morning wher i think out team lost all but one match? haha.. n ya, take care hor willy for that twisted ankle.. its no joke having to ooc in ocs course of injury.. :x

Went for lunch with jq aft that in orchard.. nice chat wif him man, didn meet up wif him for quite some time le.. n when will e next class outing come?? haha super duper long since i saw some of them like sheena and quek.. n now that the ocs peeps goin brunei and girls starting sch soon, it ll be even more diff liao.. :x hopefully shiyi can conjure up some magic for us to meet up hor! haha.. was back at home at 4 for a nice sleep till night in which i forgone the evening swim i initially planned for..

Realise i have been procrastinating as usual.. wanting to do many things and yet kept on shelfing them aside for seemingly more 'impt' things like going out and perhaps juz plain laziness on my part.. n i need not remind myself that not everything can wait.. like love, life and relationship.. i really wanna take a long morning walk wif my grandma in the city gardens like we used to do so years ago..

Started reading tuesdays with morrie this week (thx to xy for the bk!).. nice little book wif inspirational insights into life..

i miss my life.. in the past.. oh man..

2008-07-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

No idea why i woke up so early today.. prob cos its the normal rv timing in camp.. haha.. or prob i slept like close to 12 hrs le.. was totally shagged out this week.. yea, as usual but this wk was like, MORE shagged.. lol.. woke up to use the com and blog surfed for a while.. its interesting to read how the others are doin in their lives, esp those who lead much more 'colourful' lives like meifang, agnes.. haha.. yea, can tell that actly the guys, somewhat, have the SAME lifestyle.. lol.. hope all nsmen are surviving well out there and congrats to the SOCJOT pple who SURVIVED brunei's jungle.. haha.. muz be an enriching experience rite.. was reading wk's blog and thinking how eager i am to 'visit' brunei man.. and after going thro survival lessons, i was like so excited to go for JCC! haha.. sounds super fun..

Seems like the gals are starting sch soon wif all the orientation camps coming up soon.. another chapter in their lives opening.. Yea, n juniors still mugging for A's.. jiayou!! it will soon be over, and i bet all of u will miss studying man.. :p oh well, grass is always greener on the other side.. haha

Will be going tekong tmr le.. another outfield experience.. another intake of skills and lessons.. yupps.. army boy leading an army life.. juz an interesting quote to share by an inspirational figure:

" Success is not final, Failure is not fatal, Courage is what you need when you tumble; to pick yourself up again and move along"

2008-07-06T17:42:00.000-07:00

Into july now.. haha.. next week will be national day le and yesterday was the rehearsal for ndp.. was looking at the fireworks last night and it seems like they can always come up wif new designs of fireworks.. haha.. not bad la.. and how fitting would it be for the infantry oct-s who will be flying off to brunei for training on national day itself.. cool date to leave man..

Anyway, into professional term in ocs now.. last wk was kindda hectic wif an appt slapped on me.. not that i didn expect that but anyways, will be making full use of that opportunity to learn.. felt more like an officer as the days go by.. Prob cos i have to act more like one now.. yea.. haha.. stressful at times though.. Just hope down the road, i will be a responsible one cos like wad one of my instructor said: military leadership has unlimited liability.. Which is very true..

watched hancock today with the odac guys.. super lame superhero show though it will be quite cool if one day i am able to possess superhuman powers eh.. lol.. napped an hour or so before i woke up to prepare for book in ltr..

hope you peeps out there reading are enjoying life out there.. Routine will prob be the appropriate word to describe mine.. haha.. hope the coming week will be good.. hopefully.. =)

2008-06-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

so the 4 days block leave have already started.. wednesday was the official book out day though the support arms pple have to stay back for some signal lessons and administrative issues.. really felt sorry for them.. like maybe 1 day of rest before those flying on sat have to leave le.. den there is the social night on thurs.. oh, n i didnt mention this.. slept almost immediately aft i came home on wed all the way till thurs when i woke up at like 11 plus.. shag ah.. haha.. went to get stuff with eric n had a chance to walk around wif him and of course chatted quit a bit.. yea, its gd to have such a buddy in infantry eh.. haha.. social night was quite okay i would say, though the programme prob fell short of my expectations given the amount of time n effort they took to prepare.. still, a great job done by the organising comm.. had a buffet dinner at the area outside officer's mess juz next to the lake.. then there were some videos played and some awards, etc. saw quite a few familiar faces around and a last farewell to those leaving as we took our photograhs and wished them all the best for their future endeavours.. and not to forget of course, a happy birthday to ms zhang yuanli on that day.. haha..

sent xh home before i reached home at around 1 for a quick nap.. i m off from home for spain vs russia at 2 plus, meeting saw at the usual place.. the match wasn particularly exciting though spain really do deserve their victory.. they will be the team i ll support for e final.. haha.. partly cos fabregas is in spain :) had a nice chat with saw too.. he's like making one of the most impt decisions in life? haha.. juz do something that u know u wouldn regret next time man bro! as least air is not as bad as on land ba.. haha

barely had some slept at home after the match cos i had to leave home AGAIN back to sdc for cleaning up of the place >.< reached late but had some nice joking session w the guys during the clean-up as well as breakfast.. the whole thing took like 4 hrs plus.. had lunch with the guys at waraku in marina before we went for 3 hrs plus of lan at paradiz.. sry bernard that i don dota.. haha..

time is precious.. shall take this time to rest well for pro term.. it will be a long journey ahead man.. esp the first few wks.. haha.. prob will go to the lib ltr..

for those going brunei, take care and enjoy ur stay there.. it wouldn be as bad as the infantry guys' stay there.. haha..

2008-06-15T02:44:00.000-07:00

The feeling of wanting to blog but yet dunno what to blog about seeping in again.. basically i m juz 1 n a half more weeks short of my 3rd white bar.. really eager for that day to arrive.. n for me to put on that epaulette with pride.. 12 weeks of growth would be what i describe as the time i have spent here in ocs.. slowly but surely, level of competency and confidence coupled with the arrogance of conscious leadership building up..

yups, was helping out with the commissioning parade of the senior cadets as an usher today (which explains why i booked out like near 10pm) inspiring and motivating.. could sense the pride instilled into these young officers.. the parade was awesome to a certain extent and as i was standing at the top of the stands, i was wondering, how would i feel 6 months down the road as i step onto the parade square.. supposedly, i thought that i would tear come that faithful day but we shall see.. heh.. was talking to one of the parent as i usher her down to the dining area.. admist a few standard qns and ans, she told me that she could really see her son changing for the better and maturing, growing up into an adult.. so i tot, so will the turmoils i went and will be going thru mould me into someone better? only if i DO put in the extra mile was the ans i got..

service term taught me a few things about myself, my character n how i behave at certain times.. i hate to be me sometimes of the way i behave and i juz cant control these behaviour at times.. it hurted not juz relationships but also my own values and moral dignity.. hopefully, it can improve.. i certainly want it to..

so yea, didn get to go for the harmoc outing yesterday.. sadness man.. but soon ah, soon, aft their A's n aft my commissioning n prob during block leave of zz.. half a yr only.. endure!!

In the end, came back n went out again to watch soccer match with ds at boon keng.. had a nice chat cum a great match to accompany.. its nice to talk to someone u can relate to.. but its not easy to find that someone man.. so yupps, movie tmr? haha.. hopefully they can make it..

shall sign off soon.. back to slp n for breakfast with jq tmr.. haha.. with a heavy head.. :p

2008-06-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

Juz changed my blog song.. haha.. maybe i should do so more often if not it ll get boring.. esp when it comes to jay chou's songs cos all are so similar! but den, i don really get bored of listening to his 'emo' songs though.. still, talking bout music, its like almost totally non-existence in my life now.. prob army songs la har, if they are counted.. lol..

the past week was shag. full stop.. lol.. can ask me if u wan to noe more cos apparently i cant mention anything bout my training? ltr get charged.. haha.. back for like less than 24 hrs of rest before i have to book in tmr at 7pm, actly accounting the transport time n the buffer time for me to pack my stuff in camp, i shld be leaving home at like 3 plus which makes the time i have now even more precious.. wads more, i have like countless blisters on my feet now that they hurt so much for me to even walk to the kitchen man.. wonder how am i gonna survive the next week (gonna have a 5d/4n 'chalet' outfield :) ) gg liao.. lol..

yupp, so i guess i ll be taking my 'nap' and prob a long slp soon.. REST n more REST!!

take care for the rest of u out there.. to the graduating batch of SOLDIERS from bmt, ll be looking forward to ur 'grand' entrance in ocs.. haha.. n to the girls working, jiayou!! before sch will resume soon.. juniors continue to slack and study at the same time during this june vacation k! cya peeps (hopefully) soon!

2008-06-01T10:45:00.000-07:00

Back again! sunday = book in day.. haha.. juz came back from night cycling not long ago and its like woohoo.. shiok.. though of course tired la.. miss odac outings like this man.. will be looking forward to the next one.. and yea, for those who didn join us like dennis, wenhui, yuanli, monster, liwen, etc, no worries man, join us e next time round!!

life has been pretty fine for me now.. juz that the routine of booking in and out is really bothering me.. lol.. its too much a routine for me not to find it boring! haha.. but juz wanna thank those who have shown their concerns.. really appreciated =)

gonna go shop for stuff ltr before taking a rest ltr..

another excerpt from the book.. hopefully it can ignite some inspirations..

The frog principle
There is an often-qouted story of a frog and bucket of water.It illustrates
the law of deterioration...

If you take an intelligent frog, happy frog and drop him into a bucket of
boiling water, what will the frog do? Jump out! Instantly, the frog decides:
"This is no fun-I'm gone!"

If you take the same frog, or a relative, and drop him into a bucket of cold water, put the bucket on the stove and gradually heat up the bucket,
what then? The frog's relaxing...a few minutes later he says to himself:It
seems warm in here." Soon enough, you have a cooked frog.

The moral of the story? Life happens gradually. Like the frog, we can be fooled and suddenly it's too late. We need to be aware of what is happening.

alrite, back to shop, than to slp, than to camp!

"Good Day!"

2008-05-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

Attachment to lovers
"The origin of sorrow is desire." - Buddha

Mary is desperate for a man to love and adore her. Is there much hope of finding him? not likely. Firstly, her desperation will push all the guys away. secondly, while she's desperate, she's not so loveable.

Fred says to his girl:" I need you - and i can't live without you." But that's not love, it's hunger. You can't need someone desperately and love them at the same time.

Loving people means giving them the freedom to be who they choose to be and where they choose to be. Love is allowing people to be in your life out of choice. Again, we're talking unattachment. To have something or someone, you let go.

Alrite, above is an excerpt from the book i read. And the chapter of this short passage: " when you get too attached to things, people, money... you'll screw it up!"

back to sleep!

2008-05-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

another wkend is here.. alright, new found optimism in life, no more grumbling bout life and whats not.. read a book called "follow your heart" by andrew matthews recently and it really did hit me that perhaps i m juz affecting myself and even those around by being who i was or wad i thought previously.. yea, time for a change.. for the better i hope? lol

went for harmoc concert last night.. memorable day and watching the concert from the audience point of view is certainly much more relaxing than sweating out at the backstage.. haha.. and ya, objective point of view; though it didn start well, it was a above par concert i would say and the soloist performance was great.. wenjun really rox man.. lol.. overall, did enjoyed the music, not forgetting all the funny antics done on stage.. haha.. alumni likewise.. perhaps i would hope to perform next year? i ll be too old to blow an harmonica by then.. LOL..

and to my harmoc juniors.. its another start to ur life, without harmoc prac now.. its a relief in some sort isnt it?? haha.. more time to focus on studying and perhaps that shld be the priority now ba.. of course not forgetting to enjoy together during harmoc outings and chalet!! (haha, cant go for it though, sad)yups, look on the brighter side : u all have 'graduated'!!

had a good experience outside this morning oso.. 'crawled' out of bed for a singapore flyer ride with jq, george, sh and farah.. first time sitting on it and the view on top is pretty nice.. made me appreciate the beauty of the city area of singapore.. haha.. didn noe that actly singapore can be actually so beautifully.. well, bird's eye view always tell u something more..

gonna book in soon ltr.. not much time for rest this book out.. perhaps gonna take a short nap ltr.. ya, for now.. cya, hopefully on the next book out!

people always don't treasure the people and things around until they start to lose them.. but by then, its too late.. rings a bell? ;)

2008-05-21T09:37:00.000-07:00

There is this girl cuddled in the arms of a guy, on the train, on the way to a hospital in malaysia.. The girl was having pain in her stomach and the guy was trying hard to console her, though at the same time, perhaps wondering if he should console himself..

Juz seconds ago, he asked: " why did u want to... break... up with... me??"

She didn't really have the answer to that and perhaps deep down, she never wanted that outcome cos' she love him as much as he love her..

but she said, after a while: " Because... i have... stomach cancer and... i don't want u... to suffer... with me... Sorry... "

Is the epitome of LOVE granting the person HAPPINESS?

Perhaps i m still young to answer that.. but anyway, that scene was directly taken from the dream i dreamt about minutes ago.. Not sure if the guy was me but still, it was a really beautiful scene.. Though i cant say that of the ending.. well, i ll never know the answer to that anyway..

2008-05-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

"can't believe that i'm alone again..."

crap.. off days really passed damn fast can.. tmr will be wednesday n that means booking back into camp again.. argh.. hate it, really.. wanna chill at home, for the very least.. but again, this wk is a short one, 2 and a half days? so its still alrite.. really lookin forward to the harmoc concert after that and perhaps night cycling.. some nolstalgic feeling seeping in again.. i realise i miss home quite abit nowadays.. well, mayb cos of my grandma.. she had an accident which fractured her left arm and had a big sore on her forehead and that caused the upper part of her face to darkened.. was super shocked when i came home on sun to see her in that state.. and my heart really sunk.. heartache.. seeing ur loved one suffering yet not being able to do anything.. more than family, i guess i m missin out of a lot of things.. like pple arnd u are constantly changing but yet, i remained stagnant in life..

had lunch with xy today.. ok, perhaps i m really a toad in the well cos i think i have not been to the tanjong pajar area before.. noob eh.. and somehow i feel young in casual wear compared to wad the others and xy are wearing.. haha.. thats something gd! Went to get notes from yanni in tamp aft that.. again, nvr been to tpjc before.. so can say today was an 'eye-opener' for me? lol.. flipping thru my math papers which was like more than a year ago and realised how much effort i ve put into studying.. miss studying in the nlb studying lounge man.. the serenity of studying alone or with frienz and goin for short breaks at the nearby food court before retiring back home juz a stone's throw away.. went to pass xh the notes aft that, in the evening..

was waiting for an answer juz now, or was i? mayb its juz pure stupidity from my part, praying and hanging to that ever thin line of thread.. but perhaps i shld alrdy know the ans.. i should learn to move on.. and that's really the prob with me, i think too much.. and who's the one who suffers in the end? ME.. its time i learn to protect the fragile heart of mine..

2008-05-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

listening to jay's song: 蒲公英的约定 now.. still my fav song though still cant configure what's really the lyrics of the song.. lazy to look up on it either.. but the tune is great.. the sound coming from the piano just made me wanna come online to blog.. actly supposed to scan this wk for my ocs buddy hansel but apparently the sccaner got problem so i most prob will have to type it out for him ltr..

So yea, time flies as usual eh.. 2 month into being a cadet.. Feeling the same as day 1? u bet.. of course the feeling of apprehensiveness is no longer there once i got to know the instructors better though the ability to get into trouble how easily juz make me weary most of the time.. somehow getting tired and hell, i m not even 30% into the course! fortunately, m having this 3 days break now to rocover.. physically and mentally i would say.. knees are having a knock now.. all those heavyweight carrying and the oh-so-wonderful defaulters have made them grow weak.. feet are not doin well too.. so spending some 1 buck per pill on Glucosamine hoping to at least help those joints recover faster.. but besides from all that, i guess i have learnt alot, not juz technical skills but also learning more bout dealing with people, learning bout wad really leadership emcompasses in the real world, learning bout urself, a part which i m not able to see previously.. Learning to deal with emotional pains, learning to cope with stress and learning to grow up.. Seriously, i think i have aged.. ok la, not to that extend of "aged".. perhaps its too strong a word.. getting older in the mind i would say.. mayb the longer hair on my head is a testament to that.. OCS has taught me more than juz life skills on improving as a person..

so many things have changed since a month ago.. some for the better some for the worse.. again, thats not unusual according to the phrase: change is the only constant.. its quite amazing how looking at certain photos can evoke vivid memories on certain events.. was glancing thru the beach photos from yr's blog in the aftnoon and how well it made me miss the harmoc chalet back last yr.. and looking at the photo on hh's msn dp had me thinking of the scene outside the small little town of sapa.. the simple lifestyle they adopt yet having a alluring feeling to it.. and the photo i pasted on the board in my bunk.. juz a plain photo of the sky with clouds admist the mountain, one that can be easily found n downloaded online.. one tat made one of my platoon mates laugh, wondering y is that photo doin in the middle of the other 11 photos taken mainly of my frienz, pple in essence.. But perhaps what made the photo stand out is the audacity of nature.. one that can make me think of getting away from the busiest of cities and into the quietest place on earth where only nature's sounds rule.. one that can make me recount the days in ODAC over n over again.. simplicity.. how i love that..

have been accounting for my days and perhaps feelings, more into my diary now, the one which i turn to in camp when i feel like juz telling someone how i really feel deep down.. i would juz pen in there whenever i do wanna let my heart out.. Its a great feeling, juz like blogging, though of course i cant do the latter in camp!

okk, the song has been repeated for like umpteen times.. its time i get to bed soon.. perhaps i can confide in someone real soon.. i m so uncertain now.. perhaps slowly letting the fact sink in.. though i m afraid to think of anything cos sometimes it hurts quite abit.. time is really a powerful tool though.. it flies, it tells and it heals.. but it never seem to tell me whats ahead in the future.. I ll still be waiting for it to..

p.s: to end on a less sober mood, harmoc concert this sat 24th may 7.30pm.. eager to go for it :)

2008-05-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

我会学着放齐你, 是因为我太爱你.

2008-04-19T23:11:00.000-07:00

Week no.4 down and 34 more weeks to go.. OCS has been an enriching journey so far. The intense training of small arms (weapons) and physical training coupled with the intellectually stimulating lectures and leadership modules have changed my perspective of army for the better. Delta was a shock initially for me, though i am starting or perhaps have already started to have a sense of belonging in it. The thought of being in the same grp of high-calibre individuals was a challenging one, one that motivates me to only want to improve myself. It made me realise how narrow my own perspectives were and it made me realise how shallow my knowledge was. sighs, but the truth speaks for itself. And it daunts onto me, only recently, that if i were to get something meaningful and useful out of these 9 months, the only way is to put in the effort. No more cutting corners, no more smoking through, 'cos the only person that will suffer is me.

Life has come short of being great. Well, as expected, it has been revolving around army and army. Even weekends aren't spared, with us having 'homework' to do. Kindda getting numbed already. No more looking back to the fun old days in school. Oh how much i miss the days of the past. But as mentioned, its a thing of the past. As much as i would like to, it's difficult to look forward when the past is still fresh in the mind. Reading yr's blog. 1 year have passed since syf days. And very soon another year will flash past. No joke. But why do i always cling onto the past? sentimental? juz reminiscing? or maybe i am just not forward-looking enough. Seriously speaking, right now, i don't feel like thinking of the near future ahead. Perhaps becos there isn't a pressing need to. all the scholarships, university admissions crap have come to a standstill.

How i wish for a peaceful and slow mind. One that is not clouded with pressure at all. Music definitely helps. But maybe, sleep is a better solution! hah.

weekends are precious to nsf? think again. When life is monotonous, when it seems the same for every week, every month and for the 2 years, perhaps we need to re-consider the stand.

2008-03-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

23rd march 8.33pm.. some 11 more hours and i have to report to camp again.. Grr.. 1 week plus of cv life's enjoyment has made me not wanna go back.. ok, even to a new surrounding, but still, life outside beats the regimental lifestyle inside.. ok, my life will revert back to normal once tmr comes.. Though, there's still like 2 soccer matches to look forward to, ltr..

This week really passed in a flash.. well, time inevitably flies when u are enjoying it.. true isn't? Had section outing on mon.. Really enjoyed myself with the other 8 botaks.. did seemingly all kinds of sports u can try on the beach: soccer, swim, volleyball, frisbee, basketball.. and the wonderful pics courtesy of jeremy was a bonus to a fun-filled day.. had great fun, with the peeping at girls (actly is staring at them straight in the face, lol) joking arnd and reminising tekong times, imposing the sergeants and all.. i juz wanna say that i ll miss tekong and u guys.. i m really glad and happy to have u all as my BMT section mates.. i guess i ll nvr find such great times in ns next time.. lol.. thanks for the great 9 weeks, for all the shit and fun we've SHARED..

tues was cycling with GMs.. went sch first for some chit-chats.. lol.. ks wanted to ask qn bout his future.. somehow vj still looks pretty much the same.. n cycling didn go according to plan.. haha.. we went to like halfway of the airport stretch n cycled back.. n zz did a superman.. lol.. pics can refer to zz's blog n find a link.. went to find dar at her hse n helped her in applications, aft tat sent her to work..

met up with ho ho for lunch on thurs.. haha.. felt bad that he treated me lunch la cos i initiated the whole thing wanting to thank him for the things he've done.. instead, he told me to achieve what i wan to achieve before i treat him.. haha.. ok, which means for me to have my own spending powers first.. he's a nice guy really.. those females whom are single out there can keep ya, take note of him cos he's juz too busy with work.. lol.. met up with conron n george aft tat where we had some exhanges on interviews and scholarships before the other 2 had their mock interview.. i left prematurely though, meeting my mum to buy her new hp.. strangely enough, she hasn started using it now..

fri was the most anticipated day of all.. had karaoke with sheens, jq and sh at katong, out fav hunting grnd.. cheap n good.. haha.. had fun with me n sheens trying to find our voices back.. ns killed my voice (or did i have one previously? haha) really.. hopefully we can still meet up years down the road n sing till our hearts content :) aft which, met up with the odac peeps for night cycling.. ok, only me, xy and dennis were early and we had some nice chat along ecp.. den met up with the rest who i can say, on the basis of the meeting time, were awfully late.. lol.. not that i cared anw, as long as we have our night cycling! haha.. sad that dar couldn join us cos of her scholarship applications.. but we had a nite of fun at high speed.. went to jasm hse and the carpark was really our playgrnd.. if only we could race!! but ya, willy had a good pt there, someone is bound to get injured.. lol.. and how righte was hh man.. "how i wish time could just stop at this moment" sighs.. sadly it cant.. anw, we den cycled to tamp, to bedok, didn noe where to go, den monster brought us to hougang n to hongkong cafe to chill.. taught xy n hh army songs along the way.. n i miss singing songs during cycling trips in the past.. n as time always flies, it was back to ecp again when the sun rose as we sat down at the breakwater to chat.. the guys were slping while me, dennis, jwei, lam, hh and xy were trying hard to stay awake.. at least dennis, me, xy and lam have had great laughs during the sunrise moments.. how meaningful can life be man.. juz sitting down on the rocks, listening to the waves, feeling the morning breeze, watching the sunrise.. i love this kind of life..

but too bad, back to "knock it down life" tmr. LOL

back to today, meeting up with the mahjong gang (though it was quite some time we played) went manhattan at ps for lunch.. good to catch up n i guess its like a common thing for us to do.. meeting up everynow n then.. felt at ease with this bunch of close friends.. haha.. met up wif dar aft tat n bought e remaining of my army stuff..

ok, post's getting long n match's starting.. haha.. guess i shdn carrying on.. till next month shall i be back.. haha.. take care peeps and enjoy life.. =)

Till then..

2008-03-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

A long-overdue post here.. Been wanting to blog juz tat my hands seemed unwilling to for the past few days.. rarr.. anyway, i guess the past few days have been rather eventful for me to at least tell some good "stories".. haha.. n hopefully i can get things out in a chronological manner..

ok, back to many days ago.. i juz POP-ed!! lol.. on the aftnoon of 12th march, where the weather is super erractic, the young men from the C company (for reasons, i m unable to write out the name of the coy but anw, many pple alrdy knew so =.=) lined up for the eagerly anticipated passing out parade.. It was an emotional aftnoon for us, and likewise for the sergeants.. imagine 9 weeks of shit together and suddenly, parting ways just like that.. of course, i think most of us (those who endured more shit than others) will miss tekong and the many things we've done inside.. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't helping and it started pouring once we were doing our stationary drills on the parade square.. >.< And as expected though not favoured, our parents did not come down to the parade square to put on the jockey caps on for us.. sighs.. a proud moment denied.. anyways, overall i think we put up a great performance and the parents would have been proud of the.. TRAINED.. SOLDIERS!! (those who understand these 2 words would have laughed.. haha)

alright, so now, 1 n a half week's of civilian life and life is sort of back to normal though i wouldn have define how it should have been.. lols.. anw, back to 7th march when we gotten our A lvl results.. thx for those who congratulated and also congrats to those who did well and to me that means meeting ur own expectations.. It doesnt necessary means getting all the A s in the world or beating ur friends in grades rite? So yupps, if u think u have done well with ur grades, good for u!! For those whose score may feel short of expectations, i would juz repeat what my sergeant told us: 'A lvl cert is juz a piece of paper.. it doesn define u and that life goes on from here.. get on with it and continue to pursue what u want to succeed in life' Though it may not be the exact words, the intent is somewhat there (lols) so yupps, carry on n JIAYOU in life!! Anw, i was saying bout the results.. i sort of knew my results in a seemingly unexcited way.. haha.. I was rushing on the taxi to sch when i called xh soon aft i changed into my cv phone (my ns phone has no batt, see).. "hey, u ve got 5 A's!!" i juz stunned.. lol.. ok, this is juz to illustrate what hh would have mentioned in her blog a week ago.. that the manner we've gotten our A's is quite different from that for our O's.. I was delighted of course, but no where near exhilaration.. yupps, i guess happiness from within diminishes as we age? lols.. mayb not happiness from rather, expectation of successes increases..

So yea, the start of the block leave has been filled with browsing ( i cant find a better vocab for it) thro the scholarship guides and their websites.. Have sort of drafted out the applications for the organisations i m going for.. 9 in total for now.. haha.. seems alot but still.. Haven finalized anything (except for DSTA, Firefly and SIA engineering) yet so everything might change.. University application is also on the way.. phew, i finally realised the pain of going thro the long and seemingly never-ending applications after taking hours on the ntu uni and nanyang scholarship application alone.. 2 essays to write and lots to fill in.. actly, mostly is the essays that kill.. and well done to myself cos i have more essays to fill in for the scholarships appllications :D i m so happy for myself sia.. lols.. So, i spent the whole of fri sitting in front of the com the whole day n doing all the admin stuff till i really got a mental block cos its really mentally draining! haha.. i ended up downloading wolfteam and playing it at night (thanks to arison for the link)..

Nus open house on sat, yesterday.. ok.. for more details, refer to sis yanru's blog :p jkjk, not so lazy la.. but anyway, it was a great outing out.. the overwhelming crowd at the sports hall area was juz a small indication of y nus should be chosen over smu.. haha.. no intentions there but juz my own opinion.. anw, from the open house, or maybe it juz came to me (lols) i finally made up my mind to do MEch engi.. of course first choice would be overseas followed by nus than ntu.. hopefully the open house has given confused teens like me a better indication of wad uni n courses they wan to go to.. haha.. yupps, btw, was veh touched with the efforts that yr, jh and zz put into making the cheesecake.. :) i dunno if it would have tasted better but it's good enough to warm my heart :D thx lots.. and of course to jh, jc and yr, the cards and the cute puppets (not ugly at all!) and yes yr, ur card is not at all ugly too!.. :) and to ks, thx for the mag n mayb it can come in handy in ns! lols! ZZ.. thx for the diary.. i ll treasure it and our friendship (or parent-son relationship? lols) alot.. went for boardgames in purvis street aft that and thoroughly enjoyed myself admidst some stoning moments for some.. then i got my prez from the guys aft i left.. lol.. really a big THANK YOU to all u guys.. words really cant describe the gratitude towards this bunch of great friends.. anw, for pics can refer to yr's blog too... for emo-ness, jh's blog and for shit writing, my blog! hahaha..

And for today, i went for the tea session by DSTA at swissotel, raffles ballroom.. well, i nvr expected it to be such a grand event.. n as usual i guess, the talk itself wasnt as useful as when u approach scholars themselves and chat on a 1-to-1 basis.. basically for now, i cant really do anything but just wait for results to be out in april.. i ve got this sneaky feeling of not being awarded the scholarship though i m hoping for the best.. haha.. btw, the food there was great and i went for like 3 rounds of it.. lol.. met eugene there oso but he left early..

So now, i m back here in front of the com again.. gonna start applications' essays soon i think.. just a sidenote, do i think too much at times? lol.. i seriously think i do and thats the prob... haha.. anw, i shall take this opportunity to thank those who had wished me happy bday in a way or another.. thx for rmb-ing! and to the bunch of peeps i went out with yesterday.. u guys r great.. really, words cannot express my feelings towards u all.. but just like wad yr always says.. i wanna say it to u all too... i love you all! n to my dear, thx for the treat n i guess im really thinkin too much at times :)

signing off.. looking forward to sentosa outing tmr with my section mates! haha.. cya

2008-03-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling lonely all of a sudden..
i wanna write bout so many things..
but everything is juz bottled inside the small heart of mine..
open it up please..
It's getting real stuffy..

2008-03-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

Yay.. time to blog again =) thank god i'm not confined.. lol.. but well, expected that they will forget all bout my late attendance anyway.. on the contrary, i got to book out on thurs! haha.. well, the incentive of gettin the coveted gold in ippt.. it doesn really sound that difficult to get afterall, my coy has 40+ pple getting it? hah.. but i was really delighted to cross the 2.4 finishing line and my watch reads: 9:36.. I really did push myself and even wanted to give up halfway thro the run.. I m glad i didnt crumble cos the feeling of booking out early is really shiok even though it may only mean spending the day at home.. haha..

Well, that episode has shown me one thing: that my mental strength is not as strong as i think it is.. well, i guess its still not up there yet when i can really push myself to the limits.. Not when compared to one of my friend.. Shaving a full 2 mins from his previous 2.4 run, he came in with an incredible time of 9.20?, n throughout the run, has been pacing the frontrunners. He told me his mind was filled with some 48 thoughts, but nvr one on his physical fatigue.. Aft the run, he was shivering in cold sweat and look as though he could collapse anytime.. But he didn't.. For that, i really respected that guy for his super strong mentality.. Never had i seen someone so strong up there (in the mind).. And come to think of it, i m far of in the aspect..

Been out today to catch 'L change the world' with dar.. lol, like wad zz said, totally link-less with the first 2 and L didn't even use the death note (except to kill himself).. but still a decent movie i guess with the plot as exciting as the first 2.. After sending her home, i came back to allow my mood to sink to a low after watching arsenal struggling to break down aston villa and only drew against them courtesy of a late late equaliser.. Well, the only positive i can draw from the match is that the premiership title chase is hotting up.. lol..

Shall sort of my scholarship applications as well as preparation for interview tmr.. booking in at 6.15.. another long day break for me before i go back tekong for the 2nd last week.. haha.. freaking fast man.. 11 more days to POP le.. :) come to think of it, the days during BMT has really been memorable ones and as i kept on telling my bunk mates, i ll miss the times throughout this 9 weeks, be it good or bad..

7th march to be e day when results are released? well, hopefully.. quite excited to know whether the efforts of ours have paid off.. juz wanna tell the j2s out there that no matter the results, i guess as long as u know that u tried ur veh best, results no longer matter as much.. one of my sergeant kept saying something which i disagree upon: people judge u only on ur results and performances alone.. Well, i guess what's more impt is how we judge ourselves and its the process rather than the end result that really determine us.. Of course, its always a case of practicality vs idealistic.. sighs, cos life's just like that..

Has still been coughing veh badly at nite despite visiting the doc yesterday.. >.< dunno whether is it a kind of virus striking me.. rarr.. but it definitely doesn feel good to be coughing out water in the middle of the night.. :x hopefully i can have good nights' slp soon..

Shall turn in soon.. its kindda late and eyes shutting.. cya peeps soon..

2008-02-23T15:20:00.000-08:00

Another Weekend is here and i m back on the com blogging :) am munching on small pieces of apple now.. A stark contrast to the rush of crunching the apple in the cookhouse within like 15 sec? lol.. no joke seriously.. listening to music now on the com.. really appreciate the presence of it man.. life inside is dull without the songs! >.< Enjoying civilian life now while i can man.. Been thinking bout the events that happened the past week.. Well, call it reflective or maybe juz nothing better to do inside, lol.. Some things cant actly be so easily forgotten or rather removed from one's life.. Was looking at one of my bunk mates whom juz broke off with his gf of like 2 yrs.. Well, they had a rather complicated relationship.. But anw, it sorta like changed the way he behaved, the way he spoke, the way he react to things.. Can really tell how sad he was and still is deep in.. He cant put that away, but i hope not, for infinitely..

Have learnt to take things easier now when i m inside alone without my frienz ( buddies not counted!) and family.. Even now into the 3rd last week of bmt i m still missing the gd old days.. haha.. making myself sound old le but its true.. turning 19 soon! Words cant describe the nolstalgic feeling of the thought days back then though.. and veh soon, i ll be missing time in bmt!! rarr.. 18 more days to pop and why do time passes so quickly! lol.. will definitely look back to the past 2 months when all crazy things happened.. One occasion that will be etched deep in my memory lane would be the 2nd night of sit test.. my buddy gareth and i set a small fire in front of the campsite and started cooking maggie mee and warm milo, sharing the heavenly (considering u are outfield, yes they are god-like) food in a small mess tin.. We chatted as we ate, talking bout the early days, on how we didn really looked into each other's eyes into becoming buddies for life.. The feeling of warm really seeped in.. Looking at the small fire and the mess tin, it brought me back to odac days as i told gareth how much i missed days with odac, on mountain tops and out in camps.. And jokingly, i told him how similar odac camps are to bmt, juz that the latter is longer.. haha..

Looking ahead now, things have changed.. not juz physical presence.. juz ask dennis saw.. i rmb that nite during cny visiting, on the way to lrt frm stella's hse, an auntie said "excuse me, uncle" cos i was blocking her way.. =.= so wad does that suggest? haha.. my bunk mate today oso got his first "uncle" greetings by an auntie at mos burger today.. lol.. hmm, mayb its the hair that is doing the trick huh.. anw now, back to the point.. have been recieving lots of mails on university application (yes, which means a lvl results are nearing, juz dunno when) and scholarship stuff.. We have grown up from the school uniforms and bata shoes alrdy yea, deciding our paths, prob for the next 10 years or so? was discussing with my bunk mates on the prospects of studies and jobs ahead.. it really makes me feel old.. lol.. now when i see students in uniform, i would really envy them.. so students out there, enjoy sch life while u all can!!

Was late for the SDC visit centre.. overslept.. rarr.. not sure of punishment yet but most prob confinement? lol, u ll noe if i m not back next weekend.. hahah.. recieved the brightsparks magazine juz now, shall bring in back to tekong to read.. mayb it can inspire me to apply for other scholarships! still keeping my options open for now.. the last interview for dsta in round the corner, 3rd march! shall really prepare for it n not let my efforts go to waste..

Hope all my frienz and pple out there are doing great in their life.. its becoming increasingly diff to keep up.. and i finally have this weekend to stay at home and rest.. had a chat with my grandma juz now.. something that i ought to be doing every weekend.. juz glad that she is happy n healthy.. the 2 most important aspects in life.. :)

feeling sleepy and tired now.. shall rest and watch arsenal's match later.. its been so long since i watch them play.. cya..

2008-02-17T18:50:00.000-08:00

20 more mins and i shall be off back to camp again. >.< Met up wif e gms in the morning. Nice gym-in and catching up.. (zz jiayou n get employed again k!) hope that we can meet up like once every fortnight to juz do this "regime" (lols) time is tight though.. Went to zz's sis hse for her son's first month celebration. Hah.. Sounds complicated but actly its super easy. me n ks juz went to get FREE FOOD.. haha.. like we say its a win-win situation, we help them finish the food and fill our stomach at the same time..

went to meet up with the odac peeps aft that.. well, only like 6 of them there.. ahha.. stayed for a while den left le.. printed some photos to bring into camp.. shall paste them in my cardboard. a long overdued task.. hah

Mind fully comcentrating on the upcoming days.. SIT test tmr.. muz jiayou!!! and thx sis yr, hh and mama for the comforting msges.. :)

Will be back again in a week's time.. For now, juz chill n smile..

2008-02-17T01:00:00.000-08:00

Yet another weekend and here i am bloggin bout my life. Time is flying faster than the speed of light in tekong. Same routine, everyday, every hour. This week it seems even more obvious with the spare time that we have and the night training that comes along. 4 more weeks to POP. Looking forward to that day.

V'day on thurs. guess it's kindda sad for the ns guys who are attached. well, there is always a brighter side to look forward to, at least we can get to spend the weekend with our loved ones don't we? then again, like how my dear sis yr spent her vday, we don necessary have to spend it with our b/g friends. It's juz happy occasion when love is spread around to everyone. Even in tekong there is LOVE. love in tekaning the recruits, love in keeping fit, love in having more admin time. LOLs

I guess army life has made me matured even more, made me feel and see things even more, made me understand things even more. So ns doesn necessary make one "stupid", as for me the case would have been "wiser". Noting wiser and not "smarter" 'cos i really think my iq has dropped.

anyway, today was a sad day for me. i saw this day coming. I knew that time will tell things and unfortunately it turn out to be on the negative side. i don blame anyone n no reason to be sad or guilty or wadsoeva cos this is simply LIFE. no matter how sad or disappointed or how much tears i shed, things have changed and nvr will they be the same. speaking frm the bottom of my heart, i m aching. It's more painful than juz mere physical pain. Try as i might to hold back the tears, i cant do so. I m feeling kindda stuffed up here n it hurts deeply. if only i have someone to wipe those tears off my face. Simple things in life is really hard to come. I shall continue to learn and continue to pursue those simple things and treasure them no matter how difficult it will be.

I miss my frienz. Be them in ns, working or still schooling. Shall put in more effort to keep in touch with them all, that's a promise.

Mind not thinking of anything now, juz that head is heavy n threatening to detatch off the neck. Argh.

Pathing my life out slowly. At least an idea of the path in the coming years. thro to the last round of dsta. hopefully i can secure my tertiary schooling. Silently confident of chances into command sch and my path in ns for the 2 yrs. "Believe and u will succeed"

My mind shall be off stuff that i promised not to think of. at least try. It is a promise to myself too. Lyrics coming from a song: "only I can make myself happy"

So yong sheng, please do so.

2008-02-08T03:19:00.000-08:00

Back at home from granny's house.. Chu 1 has been quite typically this year.. well.. It actly has been the same throughout the past few years.. Pple visiting my house in the early noon and aft which, we went over to my granny's hse.. Pple do change aft a year or so i guess.. I couldn really recognise some of my cuz when they stepped into the house! It's quite amazing how fast a year can do to u.. N sadly, that being the case, it means that not enough effort is put into catching up n meeting up wif the relatives.. How i wish i can keep in contact with some of my more distant cousins.. The saddening thought is that when young, we were so close together: eating, playing, going school, doin everything together.. Growing up does make a difference man.. n for this case, its for the worse.. Hmm, mayb "cny 2" can take place in july or something so that at least we get to meet up twice a year instaed of only once.. LOL.. a damn gd excuse for more hong baos as well! haha..

Did the same usual stuff.. Makan n gamble n makan n gamble.. Oh ya, this year i slpet throughout from 10pm to 2am while the rest were gambling outside.. Haha.. that totally explains my presence in front of the com bloggin aimlessly.. lol..

dar lost her phone today.. well, i shall say, let's be optimistic.. The loss of something shall bring in much more luck for the whole year round :) so not to be sad kies dar.. u will get ur red phone soon!!

Gonna meet up wif frienz soon on chu 3 n 4.. hopefully things can carry on like this n ties will still be as close as ever.. Well, keeping touch with the pple around me will be as impt as ever.. :)

goin to my godma's hse tmr den to aunt's hse for more action-packed card games aka gambling.. shall be back soon.. Good nite!

2008-02-07T01:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year peeps!! great, my fav festive season is here.. this is when we get to merry and really enjoy ourselves thoroughly with all the goodies and talks and of course gambling.. HAHA.. ok, will have chance to meet up wif my frienz durin this rather long 4 days of break (considering that usually its only 2 days, lol)..

Yupps.. shall start of with my occupation.. Settling well in that island far east.. adapting comfortably to army life 4 weeks into it.. its fast times isnt it.. haha.. soon will pop den ord le.. LOL.. ok.. still aspiring to be an officer and really thx to my sect mates for making army life so damn fun.. yupss.. field camp over the last week (which explains my absence during last weekend) was full of shit, mud, powder, cameo cream, greenery, blank shots, tekaning, high kneeling and of course ultimately, fun! haha.. i m kindda restricted to writing about army stuff.. lol.. i guess thats the prob faced by many army guys who blog as well.. haha.. but afterall, we booked out yesterday on a high note n i miss army life alrdy when i m out.. believe it or not.. HAHA

My coy was the first to book out (great!) and my sect( as united as ever) went for breakfast at macs in white sands.. took a pic in which i kindda look nerdy.. >.<

Met up wif dar this aftnoon n the first thing she said was that i looked skinnier.. >.< rarr.. i cant help it la.. lol.. for all the extra rice that i ask for everyday at the cookhouse i still can grow FAT!! zz help!!! haha.. jkjk.. did some last min buying of cny clothes n dar finally found her white pants aft so long!! =) Had reunion dinner aft sending her home.. well.. sad to say, in recent yrs, the atmosphere seems to have died down abit.. the room is less noisy n less fun.. mayb frm a kid's perspective, things would have been different..

Before i forget, happy belated bdae to wj n george!! sry george, i don noe why but my phone juz refuses to send u a msg.. lol.. always msg sending failed.. rarr.. anyway, hope u r enjoying life in the army as well.. and catch up soon!! didn really have the chance to do so the other time..

n yupps, went for dsta assessment test on 4th feb i think... juz the perfect excuse for me to recover frm field camp.. lol.. thx soloman n mum for that warmly slp at his house and the drive to n fro frm jetty.. :) it was fun doing the exercise and i shall update the stuff soon.. hmm.. hopefully i can get past to the last round.. hopefully..

life has been going pretty smoothly for me this past week or so, hopefully the same feeling will continue into cny.. haha.. shall cya peeps soon!!

新年快乐!!

2008-01-27T18:17:00.000-08:00

Gonna go back in tekong in less than 3 hrs time.. taking my chance to post before goin in.. These past few days had been meaningful.. meeting up wif my loved ones, my friends n also allowed me to almost fully recover from my fever.. haha.. its great talking bout army life n of course for the april guys n girls, their cv lives as well.. it juz keeps pple ranting on n on n on.. met up wif the class at nite on sat den wif gm one n 2.. haha.. 3 guys talking cock.. how i wish i could join u 2 much earlier man.. but the feeling of juz sitting down n keep on talking is juz.. great.. lol.. sry, aft 2 weeks, my vocab lib is reduced to juz simple words.. haha.. met up wif the odac peeps today n visited liwen in safti.. damn cool place n its hell lots better than the bunks in tekong.. lol.. n it makes me wanna get into ocs more.. ;)

This episode made me realise that small misunderstandings can really blow things up.. so talk things over n everything will be fine.. becos deep down u noe that you actly care for one another.. :)

love u guys n girls.. love u dear.. love u my family.. will miss all u peepps..

gonna have my outfield camp on tues.. haha.. excited..

till then.. :) cya!

2008-01-25T11:35:00.000-08:00

I m back frm confinement! :) yay.. tat sounds abrupt but yea, i got out one day earlier than the rest cos i got down wif fever n get to rest at home.. lol.. well.. my fever has been fluctuating since.. head spinning but nevertheless i shall try my best to type out this post.. haha..

Ns has been quite ok (apart frm the illness n tekan, lol).. quite used to waking up damn early n walking arnd in undergarments n stuff.. believe it or not, i actly miss ns life the first nite i was back.. lol.. mayb parting cos i couldn book out wif the rest of my bunk mates.. but well, i wasn allowed to do so, so y challenge the authority.. 2 weeks have passed since n 7 more weeks to go.. so brace on!! haha

sadly speaking, i feel quite out of touch with the outside world.. everything thats been goin on, the things happening arnd friends n family members.. its little surprising for everyday seems the same back at tekong.. :) seriously speaking, i miss my life of the past too.. my friends esp, all the times.. not mentioning my loved ones.. sighs.. my phone batt died like on the 5th day so i apparaently was cut off frm the outside world since then.. cant msg/call peeps.. but now i shall make full use of these few days to do so n oso to get well real fast for the future battles ahead.. haha.. field camp coming soon on 29th so muz be mentally prepared!

as for those out there slogging ur guts out for work or for studies, jiayou alrite.. it cant be as bad as in tekong.. lol.. at least not wif all the f-ing frm the pple in there.. :)

on the route of recovery..
till then..

2008-01-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

At last, a long overdued post.. Its 7th Jan now.. Oh man.. shucks.. 7 days of the new year has gone n 3 more days to ns.. lol.. Unbelievably fast how the past few days have passed, seriously.. But really glad that my holidays did not go to a waste.. Really.. Had great fun n enjoyment meeting up wif frienz after frienz.. Knowing that everyone is fine, is alive kicking, i know that those memories will still be safe and intact.. Listening to jay's 彩虹 now (mauch thx to zz for the cd!) as i shall go thro the many activities done for the past week..

30th dec was the odac xmas gathering.. Met up wif dar before goin ki's hse.. Some sort of familiarity playing at the table tennis table.. n wad great fun we've had playing captain's ball using a rubber ball in the basketball court.. lol.. n much thanks to the small boy n girl whom lent us the ball.. May u two grow up as happy as u are presently! haha.. one by one the peeps came n off we went to the function room.. Ok, like wad ki said, its nto really a function room.. quite empty n run-down inside.. as usual, the girls n guys were in two seperate grps AT FIRST (for some dunno weird reasons) but aft the food came n stuff.. We sat down n chatted over the dinner.. It really seems as though we've not met for quite a while.. (well, i guess the last time i met almost all of em was at KL).. We played polar bear aft dinner n the most-awaited gifts exchange and cam-whoring (as usual) followed.. Though it didn reached the emo-heights as wil has predicted? lol, but it was still heart warming to see everyone around and wishing each other all the best for life ahead.. Monster's hse stayover followed next where we seriously had lots of fun catching hamster arnd the hse.. lol.. k, it's a bit exxagerated.. but his hamsters ( a total of 19?) were real cute man.. n its no wonder he said he will miss them lots.. i will too, if i were him.. had some card games n chess before i collapsed on the sofa.. prematurely.. lol.. Had breakfast in the mornign before retiring off..

Met up wif dar the next day for our postponed choc fondue date.. Haha.. but before tat we had an unexpected visit to the asian civilisation museum where we were enlightened or least, inspired by the tour guide who gave us a rich history of the buddism religion.. Redeemed our free ice-cream after tat (n to think that we went in for the free ice-cream, we ended spending a gd 2 hrs in ACM.. lol.. ) at night, some of the odac peeps came over my hse for stayover while watching fireworks at nite for countdown.. mayb cos every year seems the same, i don particularly find the fireworks extremely nice or somethin.. but of cos i m glad that a new year had juz started and i m eagerly anticipating a new life ahead.. had the drinking game aft that.. P.S it is seriously a retarded but damn fun game.. i guess most of us are bloated aft the many cups of water we drank.. lol.. dar had to leave for home before the rest of us went for supper opposite and soon 1st jan morning's sun rose high up in the sky..

Guess i spent most of my 1st day of the year slping at home.. >.< well, the lack of slp from the previous chalet n stayover had its toll on me..

2nd jan was more 'productive' for me at least.. Went sch in the morning earlier (supposedly to meet jq at 2 i think but woke up early :) ) stella n hui2 were promoting times magazine in sch.. haha.. its tough job man.. but the girls have to comtinue for at least 3 more weeks i think.. jiayou girls!! haha.. n thx for the snapple hui2 :p went to the hall to look at the orientation aft that, well i can say that the new intakes were not THAT on.. it seems like that every year, doesn it? haha.. but wad amazed me will be the fake wooden bridge across the hall at level 2.. haha.. it seems like a real one at first sight la.. me n jq talked while cycling on the bikes.. looking at the intakers j2s, we really felt old man.. not juz in looks but in energy levels.. sighs.. it doesn seem too long ago that we were part of them.. we left at 2 plus for alvin n chipmunks at ps.. well.. we paid for tickets for first row but ended up seating at the last :) juz one qn: y pay for the tickets if u r not watching? lol.. we benefitted though cos u have to be a giraffe to watch the movie comfortably in the first row.. the show was great n the chipmunks were so so cute man.. Went home to change before heading for chalet..

chalet wif 6ac aft tat... again... haha.. ok, first things first.. new year, new luck! lol.. at least i won some money this time arnd.. lol.. some diff pple came for this round.. guohui, jennifer, hwee yi, hui xin, zhi xin n yiting besides the usual grp turned up.. played thro the days, chatted and gossiped bout old days again on the 4th nite.. nice old feeling.. haha.. slpt a grand total of 1 hr frm that nite.. lol.. take care my 6ac frienz! n da hao whom i don get to see prob in a few years time again, jiayou in us hor! don let ME down.. haha.. jkjk..

Went home for a gd rest before i don get much slp for the next chalet (4th - 6th wif harmoc).. haha.. more details visit kiansin's blog.. but well.. i guess its really the last gathering for the seniors, esp for the ns guys.. had lotsa fun wif all the freak jokes n poohs n wadsnot.. juz a little pity we didn drink the alcoholic drinks :p its now resting nicely in my fridge.. hah.. may sip a little later.. Escape was great, mama n boyboy were victims of my *splash splash* n the girls N guys were victims of the supposedly haunted but not so scary haunted mansion.. Go kart was cool minus the exhaust fumes and pirates killed ty n fats literally.. lol.. glad that they recovered by nite time.. mr lee came over to be my mahjong disciple and wad a fast learner he was (of course since he is a teacher.. lol..).. me went over to arena to support george n met up wif sheens, jq, oli, quek, ting n ee loong before gg for supper n back to the chalet for a good nite slp.. phew.. a long day n nite for me on 5th..

6th was a day of slp for me totally.. went for breakfast wif the gms n cleaven at white sands.. well, wont get to see each other in the gms and whacking each other with the towels for a while.. miss u all gu(a)ys! went home for a short nap before gg kampong glam cc for my bursary award.. apparently they screwed up my seating n envelope on stage due to my appeal case.. lol.. i cant really be bothered cos i was simply shagged.. lol.. n the whole ceremony was freaking long! didn reach home till 4.. lol..aft tat my day was in complete darkness (u see, i slpt) till 7.30am the next morning.. haha..

well, finally we reached 7 jan (today).. woke up early to have a last minute preparation for the dsta interview only to screw it up, totally.. lol. from dress code to the interview itself.. i can count myself god of luck if i get selected for the assessment test man.. screwed.. haha.. to think that i prepared an hr n waited another juz for a screwed up interview.. haha.. details of the interview totally forgotten in case i whack vulgarities at the com now... lol.. Went to army market n met up wif hs, jq, oli n george to buy ns stuff.. cool man, i tot i would spent at most 20 but ended up splashing a 50 note on the items.. hopefully they ll come in handy in a few days time.. lol.. went 'shoppin' wif george n jq at bugis where george bought a pair of pants for his bro n me, bathing essentials.. lol.. went photo-hunting before they went home.. take care bros! cya in ns.. haha.. jq, i m praying u r not my bunk mate :p

really lots of things happened for the past week n a brand new year had begin before i had time wrapping up the last.. well 2007 was a real hectic year as many of my peers would say.. muggin like free for the A's n at the samt time dealing wif all sorts of relationship matters and whatsnot.. no matter wad, i ll see 2007 as a year when i grew up from a boy with a naive mindset to one who is able to think sensibly n maturely.. Ok, aft ns then can i turn into a MAN.. eagerly awaiting for that day to come! haha..

well.. guess this is the last post before i first book out.. dun really noe wad else to say but to all my loved ones (frienz included of course), whom i don get to see so often next time.. take care in life n no matter wad else happens.. rmb to stay happy always!! smiles!! :D it will cure most if not all problems.. trust me.. :)

i guess short n simple will still be the best, though my post has alrdy exceeded an hr.. lol..

i love u all guys n girls! cya soon!

Till the next time i ll be back..

2007-12-29T22:05:00.000-08:00

A tiring day today.. cant imagine i slpt the whole aftnoon today again >.< Well, at least i m awake now to blog bout today's events.. i m kindda hooked to blogging these few days.. a sign of me havin nothing to do? lol.. i guess so? well.. woke up at 6 plus today to go ecp n cycle wif the other gms.. really a fun n definitely worthwhile trip..

well.. the main idea was this: we cycled on the new 42k route linking all the park connectors together, stretching frm ecp to changi, loyang, pasir ris, tampines, bedok den back to where we came from.. along the way, we went past bedok jetty, safra resort, cycled the long stretch beside the airport runway, through changi village, into pasir ris n tampines heartlands, via bedok reservoir park n bedok town park and went past VJ..

Did crazy stuff like we normally do..
-Took self-timed pics along the whole journey..
-getting fined $1000 umpteen times for cycling across/under expressways..
-stopping to stretch sy's leg..
-me getting my directions all wrong for 142134 times..
-having a professional photographer to take pic for us..
-racing against the plane on the runway..
-accidentally cycling over a green n slimmy worm (eww)..
-ks n his spilled 60c chin chow
-gg along the sea at changi n e damn narrow coastal area (obviously e wrong way but it took me like some 15mins to realise >.<)
-sun plaze park n zz's fascination wif the stray cat (nope, not eunice)
-having to carry our bikes over the overhead bridge which apparently has no slopes for us to be fined 1000 bucks
-our jubilant faces having to pay only 6 bucks for some 5 hrs of cycling

ultimately, it was the satisfaction of having completed the 'marathon' wif each other that matters most.. =)

29th dec.. ok, 2 more days to the end of a real hectic year.. is everyone anticipating the new year? haha.. i guess most of the yr 2s to be will dread it.. well, for ns men-to-be at least we still got a couple more days to enjoy.. Cheers to the start of a new year soon..

2007-12-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

Back at home after a <24hrs chalet.. lol.. a 2D1N chalet wif 1/4 of 6ac peeps is real short.. But glad tat i get to met up wif really old frienz i haven seen in like years.. Yea man, though some of them couldn make it cuz of work n stuff, it was still an eventful gathering for us.. Hope it shall be a routine, like a chalet or gathering every other year so we can keep in touch with each other ;) lol.. though there's an immediate 'follow-up' on jan 2-4, doubt that many will turn up for it.. Nevertheless, juz hoping that it ll be juz as fun as this one =)

Played cards throughout the night (crazy, aren't we?) though with money involved, at least it's sort of worth it? lol.. Well.. Plus the vodka that eddie brought, we had fun trying to knock out one of the poor chaps eh.. sadly for him, he down one cup n his whole face was sort of red le.. Besides the two taboos mentioned earlier, i oso enjoyed getting enrico to 'forecast' my future or wadeva it is, using his tarot cards.. It's really interesting as to how my life is spelt out n fortunately/or unfortunately, its quite true! well.. mayb that will give me advices on how i shld process on wif my life.. besides tat, i guess wad was the most heartwarming was when we sat around in small grps and started reminiscing bout the past n being so nolstagic.. glad that we all still missed the great days of the past don't we.. pri sch days are such carefree times where there is no hatred, no politics, no evil intentions, no harm.. juz innocence as to how we carried on our friendships on that table-tennis table, on the track and on the field.. not forgetting of course the hopscotch n the basketball court where we would play our favourite 'challenger'.. Come to think of it now, it really brought back smiles to each of our faces.. how i miss those times man.. even though its a long 6 years, its still remains etched in my mind..

N i guess whats making all these things tick is still the people.. Shld think that none of us really changed much since the pri sch days.. same people, same faces, same jokes on da hao's mouth.. haha.. thanks peeps for the wonderful memories.. really..

not slping for the nite really has taken its toll on me.. reached home at 10 plus n immediately 'collapsed' on my bed n slpt through till 8, waking up at arnd 1 to makan breakfast-cum-lunch.. guess i ate really little today.. 2 meals.. >.< no wonder i feel skinnier..

had a call frm the community centre this morning on the way back home.. they said that my appeal of the last submission for the edusave merit bursary was granted.. n that i was supposed to ignore the book prize for that.. woohoo.. glad that my effort to write the appeal letter paid off.. 300 bucks in exchange for some 40 bucks book voucher.. yea man..

13 more days to ns.. less than 2 weeks.. woohoo.. that's so 'long' man.. zz u'r right man, shall make the best of my time now.. everything will change once i enter the notorious island named tekong..

have dsta prelim interview on 7th jan.. wondering how i shld go bout preparing for that.. mr ho asked me if i wanted a mock.. show see n reply him soon.. though i m seriously not in a mood for an interview or something like tat! switched to full-holiday gear now.. N new year's round the corner with a new beginning for us again.. juz like the starting of a new cycle all over..

Life's like tat.. feeling empty now.. >.< staring blankly at the com not sure of the next sentence to type..

"U may be trying to tie her down n wan a more secure n settled life though for her, she may need more freedom. Try as u may to change her inherent character, happiness may not follow.. Rather, the ending of a relationship may threaten.."

Does that means anything? is it really true? I dun noe.. For the future will be a long n perhaps, perhaps, painful journey..

to sis yr.. i fully understand ur latest post.. its really diff to do stuff that pple don't even appreciate.. it's like watering a plant that nvr seems to flower..

off to.. sleep again.. life is hard to live, sometimes..

2007-12-27T00:50:00.000-08:00

happy boxing day everyone.. ok i guess i m late by at least an hr.. ok, shall say something stupid here.. all along i was wondering why is it called boxing day.. becos of some significant boxing match? lolx.. apparently, frm wad i read in wiki, its far frm it.. more of employers giving christmas BOXES to workers on the day after xmas, thereby the term BOXing day.. LOL.. ok la, i guess most pple(kids, perhaps?) will relate box-ing day to boxing.. haha, i certainly do...

woke up at 1 pm today.. one of the latest ever this yr.. n it comes to remind me that we r into the last few days of 2007 le ya.. like jq's nick, time REALLY flies.. still, shoe rack not bought, living room is not much tidier than a few days before.. RARR..

went to swim in the aftnoon alone.. ok, refreshing to do so, aft not entering the pool in like a month or so.. 20 laps was all i could go, as i felt the stomach grumbling (as usual) >.<

is waiting a really long n painful process? is the process or the outcome that matters the most? hope, juz hoping, that mayb a few yrs down the road, fate could bring them together again..

n yes, final words before i go off to bed.. yes, yr, i m lucky to have met u online.. LOLX.. (tats wad she wans to see) haha.. nitex peeps.. enjoy the remaining of the holis while u can..

2007-12-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!! hope we all get to spend the festive season with our loved ones and may it be a joyous occasion for everyone.. cheers!

2007-12-23T00:22:00.000-08:00

I m back.. Another day out.. I can feel it.. The feeling of exhausion.. Well, though, i m glad that these few days out are well spent.. ktv juz now was cool though i m somewad sianzz, mayb affected by zz.. lol.. n wj cant stop 'amusing' us with his weird antics again ar.. Caroling for the past 2 days.. haha.. great fun.. it feels the same as last yr ya.. the feeling of screwing things up on stage.. lol.. but at least this year we got this super huge fan of ours, standing right in front of the stage n applauding every song, n his ammusing 'one more one more song'.. thx man.. lol.. i m seriously.. his applaud was louder than the combined appluase frm the crowd.. LOL..

But still, nvr regretted asking the yr2s back for carol.. I m sure its great fun for them as well.. Hope we can still take part next yr! haha.. with our bald heads n needing the santa hats to cover them.. lol.. parting ways isint always easy.. But every start has its end isnt.. well, we still have the chalet to look forward to.. haha.. Mr Lee is treating dinner! lol.. hopefully he keep his words.. haha.. (n hope he doesn read this :p) i ll seriously miss harmoc when i enter ns man..

Its quite amazing wad the small instrument by the term of 'harmonica' is able to do to our lives eh.. Emma, Mei Fang, Tan Ying, Jin Ci, Yan Ru, Jing Han, Eunice, Shi tian, Yinning, Kian Sin, Shun Yuan, Wen Jun, Zi Zhao n the list goes on.. So many pple bonded by that hole-y instrument.. I guess 20 years down the road, the instrument may still be of 'use' to me, when i m unemployed.. haha.. shall play it on the street.. by then, i shall get my old frienz back n play the same old 'jingle bells' or 'first noel' together.. :) juz in a nutshell.. I love harmonica.. the band, its people, the sound..

christmas is round the corner.. Still haven bought anything.. yet.. 3 more days as mr lee put it jubilantly juz now.. haha.. n i cannot forget his lollipop pose on jc's hp.. the cheeky dude i shall rmb him as.. :D btw, thx eunice, mf n ty for the cards.. have a great xmas too :) hmm, guess i shall go shopping wif jq on eve.. haha.. g(a)ys outing again? lol, u bet..

n soon aft, new year comes.. a brand new start again soon.. N i haven finish spring cleaning the hse! lol.. shall get a new shoe rack soon.. n mayb a new coat of paint to the living room? if time permits that is..18 more exact days to ns..

Arsenal won 2-1 against tottenham.. yea man.. juz watched the replays.. great backheel frm fabregas.. n fc is getting bad man.. liverpool's match wasn shown from 2nd min to the 44th min cos of some technical error.. =.= n guess my bro was right to be pissed off man..

gonna watch national treasures tmw.. excited! haha.. 3 times, i watched the first n i still find it marvellous.. hope the 2nd one shall be as gd if not better.. n hope hh doesn mind being the only girl! :p waking up early tmr to get the tix..

shall msn soon then go slp, hopefully at an early time.. haha.. gd nite..

2007-12-20T03:30:00.000-08:00

its 3.17am now.. wondering why i am not aslp.. Juz had my macs supper.. lol.. i know its unhealthy n suppoasedly fat(but isnt it wad i need most? lol) but i cant help it.. Was hungry.. >.< well, had a long slp juz now in the aftnnon, frm like 1 plus till 4 plus den from 7 plus till 9 plus.. my slping times are screwed aft ot.. lol.. n how glad i am that it is screwed man.. at least i m still online now and not at all feeling tired.. haha..

was prac guitar early on in the day.. ok, i hope i ll persevere this time round though its not gonna be easy n thx eric for teaching me how to.. haha.. right now i only noe one song, ok, half a song.. but i m gonna learn to play qing fei de yi soon k.. so don pray pray..

liverpool-chelsea's gonna start soon.. well, stayed up so late so shall go watch it soon.. haha.. it better be exciting.. p.s. juz how can one lost interest in soccer ds??

zz hope u get well real soon kies!

nite bloggie...

2007-12-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

Yo peeps.. I'm back from kl.. exhausted and sleepy.. Slpt a grand total of 14 hrs i think.. Haha.. Thoroughly enjoyed the trip.. stella summed it all up in the odac blog.. So i shadnt be emo.. hahaha..

It's been ages since i updated myself with things around.. Less than 20 days to do so i think.. Well, glad that the 3 gms had so much fun at sakae.. lol.. can juz imagine wad kindda shit (literally?!) they've done.. lol.. sad to miss out on the great fun though.. shall gm soon wif them ya? haha.. n caroling is round the corner.. Shall prac hard this time round n not let the juniors down.. :) n hope mmrs of the past will be revived.. lol.. Then, there's the chalet for harmoc in jan.. Hope more pple will go kies.. More pple = more fun + less cost! hahaha.. killing two birds with one stone eh..

ODAC nvr seems to be boring eh.. The trip alone has cause so much of my brain cells from dying (from all the laughters, screaming, lack of slp, etc....) how i wish we could stay on at kl for a couple more days cos the trip seems to be over veh soon.. (sighs) missing all the crazy stuff done there man.. (wanna bet how much?) lol.. that phrase kept stuck to my head.. haha.. saved all the photos in the disc n shall bring over to eric ma's hse ltr.. Looking at those pics really brought laughters to me.. Wif all the cam whorings by the girls to the bananas and the prata bombs (oops).. haha.. seeing is believing man.. anyway, shall juz add on, that the girls were veh sweet too, coming up wif the impromptu song n stuff and the sunflower.. thx for all the laughters and joy u gals bring to us.. The taxi driver was right: that being happy is the most impt, and that we shld always carry a smile on our faces, now n forever.. A family we shall always be.. =) Then there's the christmas gathering coming up, definitely looking forward to it.. n gifts exchange.. haha.. whomever gets xy's prez shall be the lucky one :p

shall have a class gathering soon too! heard frm george that only 7 pple went for dinner on fri.. shall aim for more pple next time k.. mayb a christmas gathering or somethin ba.. n to quek n oli, cheers to 1-0! haha.. better arrange one soon lest the guys will all enter army den diff liao.. board games again? lol..

and for 6ac chalet on 26/27.. hope more pple turn up.. So long nvr see u peeps le.. mahjong session anyone? hands itchy sia.. lol.. n i m short of cash too! haha.. too bad my hse got mahjong table but no mahjong set if not i can have homeground advantage.. haha.. meet up soon ya!

Do guys really change in army? we shall see but let's hope not for the worse.. as the gals said, aft army, things will not be the same.. No more bullying of the boys(or men?), no more of the same childish fun and stuff.. but at least, there are memories like these to keep us going.. N no matter wad peeps.. we shall stay happy and cheerful always.. :D

Love is a powerful word.. Veh powerful indeed..

2007-11-28T00:20:00.000-08:00

Listening to jay's song on zz's blog now... the 4th or 5th time liao.. damn nice.. dunno why i suddenly felt nolstagic.. Sianx.. So early wake up den need to emo liao..

Ok, actly i shldn really be here blogging cos i m kindda rush for time.. Firefly scholarship deadline's like 2 more days n i have yet to start writing the essay qn.. Worse still, SAT exams like 3 more days.. i m definitely alrdy holis mood.. Juz hope i can do better than the previous time.. I m prepared to take a 3rd time anyways..

This holis seems to pass veh quickly.. 10 days since the end of A's.. I ve not really done anything productive yet.. At least i got to meet up wif peeps n my family. Oh well.. Family chalet was ok la.. typical gathering wif of course gambling as the main dish of the day.. Brought dar back, was rather a pleasing meet-up wif the rest.. Have to really thank my 4th aunt for making her feel at home.. And yes, her new-found friend, my cuz as well, now in korea enjoying her time away wif my aunts n sis.. Enjoy urselves gurls!

hmm.. i wonder when i'll go overseas again (not m'sia though, haha).. One month more to ns.. Craps.. my holis seems to be packed.. But like wad ks wrote, i'm not the rf (rich-force) so no spending power n thus no $ to do much.. haha.. but i really wanna spend at least 2-3 days at home spring-cleaning the whole hse.. It really in a mess now.. no time to work for cash either.. Prom n post-prom (maybe) followed by OT den caroling then chalet.. Add in the applications and seminars and stuff.. RArr.. but still, i would wanna spend time wif dar too.. Christmas's coming soon and may this year be as, if not more, romantic than last..

having odac ot meeting tmr.. Hope it'll not last too long n den we can enjoy ourselves aft tat.. haha.. juniors arranging floorball match on 9th i think.. So long nvr play le.. rusty rusty.. :x

hope everyone's coping fine n enjoying holis like never before, esp aft months of mugging.. Some pple are alrdy overseas enjoying (envy!) and for those in sing, let's enjoy ourselves thoroughly n brace ourselves for future challenges ahead!

Shall go prepare myself for tough days ahead mugging.. grrr... Shall be online soon.. cya

the bottle: half empty or half filled?

2007-11-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

The A's over.. At least for those wifout h3.. It seems so swift.. Juz gone in matter of 2 years.. What? 2 years? nah, it seems like 2 days ago aint.. The day when we first stepped into the compounds of the school.. Now, we are officially 'umemployed' so called.. N we are no longer students of that veh familiar building where all our memories are fondly kept in.. But as they say, once a victorian always a victorian.. so? lol.. it doesn sound absurd does it, but still things do change n will definitely, in the next couple of years.. the things will change, people change n of course, oneself..

Now that we don't have to cram up n study all day long, the days ahead do look veh free for us.. At least for those who still wish to continue to be voluntarily unemployed, and not getting a part-time job, like me.. wad to do for the next couple of weeks, to be exact, arnd 6 weeks for me? nah, not yet came up wif a concrete plan.. Juz a headless chicken goin arnd looking for stuff to do..

But still on the primary list is to meet up wif people u will no longer get much the same chance to when u grow up in the future.. grow up? haha.. so u see, we are still very much kids n little children.. At least i feel that way.. But granted, i do feel like i've matured a little throughout the 2 years.. At least when i'm alone in my chain thoughts.. The thinking n the mindset have indeed changed..

Speaking to that, so are vases which are half-empty or half-full? haha, cliche as it sounds, but yea, i would be happy to say that aft 2 years of growing up(n still i m) i think i m half filled n raring to continue to fill the vase to the brim.. Arghh.. That means growing up isnt it n that means a sucky feeling amongst those who still wish to remain as carefree as kids like those in the playground playing wadeva u call in, catching, ice-and-water or wadsoeva.. esp for me when i see my bros n sis with really free time up their sleeves and playing com the whole day.. But thats the fact n it cant be changed..

We are 18 n we are young adults.. lol.. 'adults' sounds more appropriate for me cos I don't feel that i m one yet.. a half-filled vase i shall be..

time now for cycling action in the ecp wif harmoc.. couple of times now.. N i guess, the first time we did was still the best.. Things have changed so much since the start n i wonder will we continue on together towards the finishing line..

2007-11-15T09:08:00.000-08:00

yea man.. A's soon gonna be over.. so long since i touch this keyboard as i prepare to write this post aft so damn long.. quite loss for words actly.. so long since i posted and all this while its been boring times.. mug, Mug and still MUG.. wad's there to write den.. sianz.. And then again, aft A's juz get to enjoy a month plus of freedom before goin sent into 'jail'...

Juz came back from a morning run and ll be looking forward to more in the near 'future'.. Anyway, for the next 2 yrs it ll be run n pump n run n pump and nothing else.. haha.. still, i m quite eager to get into ns n looking forward to the that kind of lifestyle.. at least it beats mugging.. Or thats wad i hope..

sianz la, i think i m typing at the pace of a snail. fingers are still used to writing n taking down of notes.. hmmm.. i m out of words.. sianz sianz sianz... Boring life..

shall be back when i have more things to blog about.. hope that wont be one day before i go tekong.. haha..

世界唯一不变的, 就是变...

2007-08-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

ages since i came n blogged.. can't rmb when was the last time i went on msn massenger la.. gp's juz over yesterday n prelims coming real soon.. Everyone's muggin like free.. let's work hard everyone..

put aside wadeva things n concentrate.. Some things are juz not worth the time u spent thinking bout it..

Good luck pple.. :)

2007-08-03T16:25:00.000-07:00

Don't ever assume cos' when u ASSUME, u are making an ASS out of U and ME..

When u are down u don't show it but how i wished that u would know..

I'm not who i am.. And I don wanna be..

2007-07-27T02:20:00.000-07:00

"Would You Be There" by Redwan Ali

If i were blue, woulde you be there for me,
and whisper in my ears its ok.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If i feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me,would you run with me,
And never look back...

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there...

If i will wait, would you still think of me,
And wished that you could hold me now,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way...

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to kiss my pain away?

Would you be there... for me..

2007-07-27T02:13:00.000-07:00

Its officially 2am now.. I wanna buy a new ipod.. miss the days when random songs juz pop into my head.. Ok, i lose touch again, not online for quite long.. Mayb i m juz not that kind who can sit in front of com for hours.. (aren't i lucky?) anyways, i juz finished writiing my gp essay.. Ok, direct copying from kaleidescope.. I wonder how am i gonna improve my gp like that.. SElf discipline!! grr.. lacking in me.. totally..

Wonder how my friends are doiin now.. juz random thoughts.. i guess all are deep into their slp now ba.. ya, wanna thank jq, george, farah for that nice effort.. lol.. it was really nice.. :) i definitely enjoyed that day veh much.. as much as i do now..

Problems, problems, mounting up.. Why can't adults solve their own problems.. N if they can't, what give them the rights to discipline us? hah.. essay question: money is the root of all evil.. Like wad people say in chinese, money is not everything, but we definitely cannot do without it.. What happened juz really disgusted me..

As least listening to music helps.. thx zz for his song on his blog.. haha.. saw that pple got addicted to the previous song.. lol.. both are nice actly.. go listen to the song i recommend.. also veh nice.. :) anyway, i think i need to eat more and gm more.. well, pple are worried bout their studies while me? still floating around like a headless soul.. hope it's gonna be a temporary thingy..

how do you measure EQ? by the no. of friends one has? by how one communicate with others? by the way one respond to qn? juz thinking..

18 years and soon 19.. soon.. and soon 20.. lol.. can't wait for army life..

or rather, i can't wait for adulthood.. I wan to fly.. away..

2007-07-10T22:37:00.000-07:00

it's tuesday of week 3 of term 1.. Yes.. still in holiday mood.. Well done.. everyone's like mugging and aft getting back results, even more so.. Perhaps some of them are rudely awaken by the shock notice that there is simply no time left.. Well, which is true.. Can someone juz wake me up from my sweet dream as well..

School seems much less hectic as before, without all the CCAs and late nite staying-back, time seems much in my control, though now i wouldn't know what to do with it :x hope i wouldn juz carelessly spend it away..

Today was damn funny.. Me, lala, and lamly were in the odac rm and we, or rather ll started playing wif the laser torch that i got from the psc fair.. she took it to the backdoor area and shone at the people at the canteen downstairs.. lol.. they people were like wondering where did that small little red dot came from and it was damn hilarious la.. the reactions and all.. haha.. nevertheless, given the poor 'assualting' skills of ll, we got caught by someone, luckily someone i knew.. haha.. wad if it was tyh.. LOL..

tmr there is PE.. YES! soccer.. a sport i so terribly miss..

2007-07-06T16:58:00.000-07:00

Phew.. Updating my blog at last. Woke up at 6 plus. Don't ask me why cos i don't have the answer to tat as well. Yesterady was a day of discovery for me. hah. Shall not elaborate more.

Looking at pple's blog. Everyone's saying CT2s over and stuff. lol, but wait a minute, doesn't tat mean prelims and A's are up real soon? hah. Can't wait for these two major tests to be over man. I guess i'm building up the 'momentum' in studying, like wad my econs teacher ms lim was saying: "the most impt thing is 'momentum'. lol. k, i don't really listen to her words so its ok but this point i agree with her. Anyway,

i'm quite pissed up with not getting my SAT scores YET!! so long and i'm still waiting. >.<

Yet to write my t3A yet. Gonna write them soon later though i guess i'll most prob laze off and play PES6 on ps2. haha. Talking bout that, my bro was like saying, oh, no more games for ps2 coming out le cos there's ps3 le ma. wow. how fast things are changing. or am i juz lagging a little?

Its 8 o clock alrdy. The rain had juz stopped. It was refreshing. The sound of raindrops splashing onto the ground. Maybe its a mutaul feeling.

ya, got back my chem paper 1 yesterday. it sucks. lol, thats expected though. somemore, only 30% of the cohort passed MCQ? haha.. the teachers ever wonder why bother to set such a tough paper? well i guess mayb we'll panic and start mugging hard. praying hard for my other results still..

The only constant thing in life is 'CHANGE'

Get it?

2007-06-29T01:17:00.000-07:00

how i wish all this was showered on me.. I'm confused..

Lost and Empty..

haiz, common test just ended today.. don't really felt like it's the end of papers.. maybe becos there's still the long-awaited A's at the end of the road.. Everyone's goin slp soon i guess.. 1am in the morning.. slpt too much this morning before maths paper.. Don't feel like turning in still..

Just feel like going far far away, secluded from this fast-paced world.. sound like an old man ranting on his retirement plans eh.. No stress, simple-minded people, easy-goin life... wow, suddenly felt like i just retired.. lol..

Feeling weird the past few days, mayb cos of exams stress, but still.. Thinking too much i guess.. Y am i so intro sometimes? wonder wonder.. If ever this kind of thinking is effective at all..

Sian.. I want to play soccer.. SAd Henry is leaving.. Dunno why, i just its just natural ba.. Losing the club's best player.. My feet are really itching.. Mayb i should go for a long-needed run first.. think now some 2km i cant even complete.. No joke.. NS medical checkup coming soon.. Shall go train.. Persevere..

Hah, thinking of that word, it really says alot of me.. 'Perseverence'? Well, thats really an ambigious word.. Am i perserved enough if i can overcome a 3000 over mountain in 2 days? Then does the same perseverence count if i can't even manage to sit down for an hour to do wat i planned to do? When i struggle to even exercise for less than an hour? when i give in to temptations too easily? Hah..

Transformers is fun.. go watch it..

Tired in the mind..

Time's up

2007-06-14T16:43:00.000-07:00

As i read through some of the blogs of my friends.. esp some really emo ones.. i began to wonder.. Do people only express their feeling of despair, sadness, helplessness, loneliness and everything negative to the com, to their blogs?

It seems as though people now 'confine' in their bloggies than friends and families..

No wonder so many depression cases..

Anyways.. I m bored of studying for long hours so here i m blogging.. :) around 10 more days to CTs.. Lol.. And i haven started Chemistry n Econs? well done.. lol..

Went for the firefly tour yesterday which really got me to understand the working world more and better.. And ya, actually getting a scholarship is still very far, a distant thing..

Its so damn difficult to get one!!! Imagine being one of the lucky 10 to get out of a 1000!!! I guess i have a better chance of striking the lottery than getting a scholarship.. LOL..

Mug.. Jiayou everyone..

i miss the past.. Oh, how i wish things were still the same..

2007-06-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

Simplicity.. Is it so difficult?

Simple yet sophisticated.. Sighs..

2007-05-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

Finally back at home...

Slept from 12 midnight till 5 plus in the afternoon juz now..

How well it shows the exhausion i'm facing from the camp i've juz been through.. But it has not been without its rewards... Or rather, the rewards i've gained from the camp far outweighs that of the sacrifices i've to make...

Like many facilitators, i'm already missing e camp, missing its people, missing all the facis, missing my dear KIT-KAT, missing all the activities and fun..

It has been an emotionally draining month for me... First, the end of the road for me as harmoc senior... Then the end of the 1 month long road to the CLIC camp i've juz returned home from... Too many emotions to contain..

Definitely can't be describe by merely words... all the pictures, all the memories will be kept...

CLIC ultimately will mark the ending of my leadership journey in VJ and direct me to the more serious work... Yes, the 'A's awaits me.. Less than 5 months away... It's more and more of hard work now...

Since january this year, my calender of events was packed with numerous activities... From orientation, at the start of the year to the ODAC OLC camp in feb n march, to the syf prac and performance in april, to the mugging of h3 maths final exams, to the concert preparations n concert itself on 19th may, to now the CLIC camp... I hardly rested... And i guess this JUNE came at the right time for me to clearly reflect n take a break (have a KIT-KAT :) ) Though one week of the holis is almost over.. I've strayed away from my studies.. To disappointing my tutors with my half-hearted work, to disappointing myself with the clear below-par standard of work.. Nevertheless, i promise i will definitely work hard for my ultimate goal.. The 'A' levels..

Gonna write on CLIC camp for now...

Alright... It will gonna be tough for me to pen down every activity n the feelings i've had for that will take days..

To be honest, before the camp, i didn't think that i could have enjoyed soo much and to this point, miss it so much... Like what the rest of the facis said, this month's long preparations came to an end in a flash.. the 4 days long camp seem like it passed in half a day.. All the games, the lack of sleep, the countless debriefs, the preparations for games, bash, forum theatre... It has been truly an unforgetable experience.. The ribbon ceremony marked the end of the camp with an emotional touch.. In truth, i really love the camp...

To my dearest dearest group KIT-KAT... I thank you so much for giving me this camp to be your faci.. It's my first experience at being thrown out there to facilitate such a group and u bunch of great people helped me through it.. I guess you all enjoyed the camp as much as i do 'cos i know KIT-KAT is not any other group... We are the best of the best... 200 over photos of you guys learning n growing.. And my greatest satisfaction and achievement is to hear a simple two words from you all.. 'Thank You' for i know from these two words, that you all have at least learnt something from me.. I can't believe how well the whole camp, how the whole group actually turned out to be.. It's a dream come through.. Even after the camp, you guys are still talking bout the lessons learnt from the camp.. This experience will definitely go a long long way for me esp because you guys made it possible..

Aaron, Benedict, Calvin, Darren, Jia Hui, Jinci, Siew Min, Valerie, Xin Ru.. Thank you so much... I love you guys all..

I hung the mahjong paper on ur goal setting in my room for it will always remind me how great this group actually IS... Thanks for the toberone.. I'm touched..

WHO I AM MAKES A DIFFERENCE...